Ha oli maka heke ho

Christmas Eve we ate turkey, lots of other yummy things and opened presents with the boys, Brandon, his girlfriend Jacqui and her kids Katie and Teddy.  It was a chance to just forget the noise and enjoy family and friends again.

Since then I've had a few tests to check my organs and if they will tolerate the chemo planned.  I changed my Maui flight to return the early morning of Jan 12 - my "pre-chemo" bloodwork and doctor appointment is at 9:45 so the transition from paradise to cancerland will be a bit harsh ;) I will start the two chemo drugs and herceptin infusion Jan 13 around 9 AM.

The pre-chemo tests show my heart is definitely not as good as a normal 40 year-old female starting breast cancer chemo would be - not surprising given the crap we've thrown at it from total body radiation in 1997, and three cycles of hard core chemo, as well as three transplants chemo.  It's just below the level that it would be a problem, so the cardioligist gave me a med to help protect it a bit as well as scheduled more heart MRIs throughout treatment to make sure the risk of heart failure doesn't outweigh the risk of the cancer returning.  Pending the results of the other tests which I am guessing will show some wear and tear but not as much as the heart, we are a go for chemo.  The question of IF I could do chemo was bigger than I realized, so now the idea that I start early and miss most of Maui is a bit less prominent - I'm just happy I'll get to proceed with chemo and get a week in paradise!

So getting my hair coloured and cut at the moment - I will only have it for another month likely so going a bit shorter for the transition.  And after a quiet New Year's tonight with Tashs and Talyn I'll finish my packing tomorrow and escape reality for a week...a wonderful way to start the year and soak in as much aloha energy as I can.

Ha oli maka heke ho to all of you and mahalo for all your love and support.

The Grinch

So this will be short but likely not so upbeat as I don't have a lot of energy left from the day.  The basic result of my oncology appointment is that the chemo part of this equation is a lot more important than I expected it to be - without it the risk of the cancer returning is about 50/50 so starting some solid chemo within 60 days of surgery is a must have.  Dr. Stewart knows my history and me personally very well, yet considering the risk and my vacation plans, allowed me to delay starting chemo but only to January 12...so I get one week in Maui.  Not what I wanted to hear or expected.

The fact that he was serious about it was more important to me as I had in my head that the chemo part of the equation was smaller, that it was really about a slim chance of recurrence, and that the drugs I would take would not be that toxic, and that I could do it while returning to work in February.  Also not true.  6 three-week cycles if I can handle it, 4 minimum, of 2 pretty solid agents (one I know very well from induction chemo 1997, 2002 and even 2006 when I only got 10 days in), during which time most people can't work, and a full year of Herceptin (an antibody that helps prevent recurrence when you have Her2 positive breast cancer) injections every three weeks (not so concerned about those).  My battled heart and other organs will be closely monitored as there is higher risk they will not enjoy another round with these agents, new and old, and my slightly open neck wound from the flesh eating disease skin graft may also cause some issues once my counts drop.  Oh yeah, and with no chance of a port inserted into my chest due to all the trauma it has endured, my hand veins may be the only way to get this stuff in me.

So I think maybe its the whole equation that I underestimated, not just the chemo part.  It seems like a calculus problem more when I thought maybe I was hoping for just a long division one. I probably should have waited to blog until tomorrow when I maybe have more ability to spin it positively. I feel like the Grinch now - ....apologies.  Please enjoy your holiday festivities, food and family immensely - it is the only gift I ask for for Christmas.

Crazy small cancer world.

Quick update - had a call from Tom Baker Monday to let me know my appointment date of Dec 22...so a bit longer wait than I expected but at least it will be done before the holiday break.  Other positives are that the breast oncologist I will see is actually also a hematologist and bone marrow doctor...I know him well from my leukemia journey and he knows my history very well.  Perfect scenario I think.  He also sits on the core committee of the Strategic Clinical Network that I volunteer on as a patient advisor.  Crazy small cancer world.

The other thing I am interpretting (maybe incorrectly) from the appointment date is that it is not super urgent that I get started on the treatment.  I know from my 17 year experience that nothing happens over the holidays, so I am guessing the earliest they would have me start chemo is early January.  I am hopeful that if it's okay to wait 2 weeks for the consult then it may be equally as okay to wait 2 weeks more from the earliest start time to fit Maui in.  Fingers crossed.

Still making progress on the healing front...3 weeks since surgery so I think I am on target.  Incisions are still covered in steri strips so hard to really know what it looks like but I see Dr. Graham in a week and will do a further assessment and take the strips off then.

Otherwise, I'm doing more and more normal things every day...even had a yummy breakfast after my early morning doctor appointment today (thx to Shelley for the idea)...thanks again for all your kindness.

T

Pathology in

Had a call yesterday that I could come in this morning to see Dr. Graham to discuss pathology results.  So the summary is Stage II invasive breast cancer - Grade III tumour,  no evidence of cancer in nodes removed.  This combined with some other pathologic details suggests chemo will likely be a next step and that I will be a candidate for herceptin treatment which would follow or go along side chemo for about a year.  Tom Baker breast oncology team will contact me with an appointment to discuss a treatment plan.  Likely hear from them within a week and hopefully the appointment will be before the holidays.  Incisions seem to be healing too. I'll see Dr. Graham in 2 weeks as well to check the incisions again.

I tried driving Tuesday night with success and yesterday drove myself to an appointment as well as to my "new" condo (ready in summer) mid-construction walkthrough.  That was pretty cool...seeing my place all framed and roughed in made it real so it gives me something wonderful to look forward to next summer once I'm done all this crap ;)  Last night I drove to my monthly documentary movie screening and enjoyed a normal night with friends.  That was a treat for sure.

Maui is still a maybe - Dr. Graham thinks it's quite possible it will work - maybe no surfing he said.  The bigger factor in that decision will be what the oncologist team's plan will look like and how that timing factors in.  It's unlikely I would start chemo until the new year, but I'm not sure if delaying it a couple of weeks will be appropriate...as usual, have to wait and see.

So for now, I have the go ahead to move more, get that range of motion back in my arms and chest, wait of course for another phone call and appointement date, and have some more normal days.  Perhaps a gingerbread latte will also be required.  Cheers.

Board games and patience

So any of you in Alberta would know that I've not posted because it's just been too cold for the past number of days ;)  Actually, I've been doing pretty well since the last post.  FYI we did get to the Keg last week and I enjoyed a helping of ribs to celebrate.  Had a slow start physically and emotionally last Thursday - ironically had very little sleep after the drains came out, with more healing needed to find a comfortable position to sleep in.  Emotionally I think the whirlwind of life changes in the past month smacked me across the face while I wasn't looking. Since then gradually have been getting better sleep, mentally stronger, and experiencing more range of motion.  

The boys slept over at mom and dad's Friday so we had some good fun playing board games and drinking hot chocolate, true healing activities when you have 2 fun boys making you laugh constantly.  I am lucky that my twin nephews love going to their Nana and Papa's so much...and they think Auntie Tricia is okay too (I never let them win anything on purpose).

I had a couple other visits from good friends, watched the Stampeders win the Grey Cup with mom and dad Sunday, and mom and I did the final steps for my condo sale (including a miraculous search and find mission for a broken light fixture in terrible road conditions) which closed today.  It's actually been pretty busy, with rests inserted as necessary.

No word yet on the pathology from my surgery.  I called this afternoon and apparently the pathologist is still working on it.  Once that's ready I'll meet with my surgeon and then get referred back to the Tom Baker for next steps.  He'll also check out how my incisions are healing and let me know what he thinks I can do for activity.  On my list of questions for him will no doubt be the likelihood of me heading to Maui in just about a month ;)

Having cancer multiple times over 17 years has built my reserve of patience fairly well.  While no one likes to do it, it's a bit like many sports.  You have to practice to get better at it.  Thanks everyone for your continued support - happy December :)