Thursday 19 February 2009

Tomorrows

Life continues to surprise me. A year ago, I had uncertainty about pretty much everything...the clinical trial third transplant had not been approved yet, I didn't how much longer my remission would last, I didn't know if I would ever return to a "normal" life living on my own, working and thinking about - non-cancer things.

A year later, I am less than two weeks away from starting back to work part-time, I feel better physically than I have in 4 years, and have even been shopping for a new place to live! Mom and Dad have really been incredible roommates, but getting my own spot is another step towards the life I had.

The past few weeks have evaporated, filled with "living life" activities, and only a few "fighting to live life" activities. Aside from regular bloodwork and a few appointments at the hospital, my days have been filled with the good stuff...lunches and coffee with friends, painting acrylic on canvas, and shopping for condos. I've felt almost a strange deja vu feeling lately, as I seem to recognize pieces of my previous life. It's a fantastic strange feeling and I am so grateful to experience it.

In the spirit of optimism, I even saw the musical Annie the other night with Tasha. My grandma Gunn, living proof that a positive attitude can help you survive even the most testing situations, gave me tickets for Christmas. When I was growing up on McGill Place in Regina, I set out to direct Annie, casting Kyra Wacker next door as Annie, Trevor Holowka from across the street as Daddy Warbucks, and Karen Milliken as Miss Farrell. On regular schooldays, I (as Pepper) improved Annie scenes with my cousins Holly and Heather (Annie and Molly respectively). I never realized until watching the musical the other night just how much Annie's story related to my own...the hope for tomorrow and maybe what may come has been my mode of operation for the past few years! The red curls in her hair are definitely where we differ...:)

I continue to cherish today, but I am looking forward to the tomorrows of the coming weeks and continuing to spend less time fighting to live and instead just live...