The day after my last post, Tasha received a very solid pathology report that indicated her margins were clear - excellent news. She started chemo 2 days later, and her side effects to date seem manageable. In fact, we even started planning a trip to NYC together for early April - me excited to show her my favourite city and her excited to see what I've been blabbering about for years.
Unfortunately and fortunately, I had to cancel the hotel booking yesterday. Although the transplant application has not been approved yet (it's still in finalizing status before sending), the transplant team in Calgary agreed that based on the timing and possibility of approval, they would put me on the schedule for transplant - "pencil in" is the phrase used. Pencil or pen, it is nice to have a date...May 1. That would actually be "day 0", so I'd likely be admitted a couple of weeks before that, as the pre-transplant chemotherapy protocol for the trial is around 10 days. That's about all I know right now! Now I continue to wait for approval to turn May 1 into a reality. Tasha and I will go to NYC after the transplant, when neither of us have to do chemo and extra martinis are possible!
I had actually started planning several trips for April and early May, so Dr. Brown phoned just at the right time. With the attitude of getting on with life, I also booked and did a head shot session for my acting resume this week as well. I just finished it yesterday and will get the head shots next week. Most of you know my passion is not accounting but acting (don't worry I won't give up my day job yet)...I was part of a theatre company in NYC when I worked there, and studied acting in Calgary before that. Now with my head shots done I can start to audition for work! I likely won't get anything before mid-April but afterward I'll be ready...
I did manage to book a couple of short trips between now and the anticipated hospital stay - one next week with Mom to Scottsdale for a few days of sun and shopping. At the end of March, Colleen, Mom and I will return to Vegas - we had gone 8 years ago with Grandma Gunn for her 75th birthday and had so much fun. Without Grandma with us, we might actually get some rest and win some slot machines, as she seemed to outlast and out win all of us!
With such great news at the start of the week and yesterday, I can say it was a pretty sweet week. I hit my Life List well - I was able to visit, eat (including sushi) and catch up with many friends, newer and old, spend time with my family and my nephews, get my acting head shots done, and book a couple of trips. I also spent an incredible day at a local spa, compliments of Dave and his family, which forced me to relax, sit back and think about this crazy life. I decided I better enjoy the ride, regardless of where it takes me.
Friday 22 February 2008
Tuesday 12 February 2008
Waiting to Live
Finally the deepfreeze has lifted and there is a hope of Spring in the air! My car looks like a jungle safari tour vehicle covered in mud and salt but it's nice that it's wet and not frozen solid like the past few weeks.
Last week was by far one of my busiest in a while - every night I had some event, and while some were indirectly linked to leukemia, they were mostly NOT medical appointments. Monday night I attended a workshop with a casting director at the acting company I used to study with, Tuesday I spoke to a group of people planning to run a marathon and raise funds for blood cancer research, Wednesday I saw the Kite Runner (incredible), Thursday I attended the Cancervive sponsorship appreciation night (Calgary to Austin cycling event) and Friday saw 27 Dresses with mom. During those days, I packed in bloodwork, physio, Day One chemo, getting my computer fixed, lunches and coffees with coworkers and friends, and attending Tasha's appointment with her oncologist (no pathology results yet for her, we're hoping by tomorrow!). The week was kind of a reminder of what I like to be - busy, running from one experience to the other, relying on my blackberry to tell me where to be and when.
What's in your calendar? Put something good in there...stop waiting!
Last week was by far one of my busiest in a while - every night I had some event, and while some were indirectly linked to leukemia, they were mostly NOT medical appointments. Monday night I attended a workshop with a casting director at the acting company I used to study with, Tuesday I spoke to a group of people planning to run a marathon and raise funds for blood cancer research, Wednesday I saw the Kite Runner (incredible), Thursday I attended the Cancervive sponsorship appreciation night (Calgary to Austin cycling event) and Friday saw 27 Dresses with mom. During those days, I packed in bloodwork, physio, Day One chemo, getting my computer fixed, lunches and coffees with coworkers and friends, and attending Tasha's appointment with her oncologist (no pathology results yet for her, we're hoping by tomorrow!). The week was kind of a reminder of what I like to be - busy, running from one experience to the other, relying on my blackberry to tell me where to be and when.
Of course, I always like to push my limits and on the weekend spent most of my time sleeping and fighting off some nausea, perhaps as a result of my busy week, but who knows. I had a brief break from that on Sunday, when mom and I met Tasha, Ryan and Talyn at the Health Show to find out about the next wonder juice and what healing treatments could cure us all! Speaking of treatments, there is no further update on the status of the transplant application - it is virtually complete, awaiting signatures and assembly to be on its way to Ottawa for Health Canada's review. Patience is a virtue isn't it!??? I did find out that currently transplants are being booked into April, so even if we get approval in the coming month, the timing will not likely be earlier than May, which is quite a bit later than I had expected.
After absorbing this for a few days, I've decided to take advantage of the delay. I can only get stronger physically before the treatment in that time. The reality is that this may be the best I feel, even after a transplant, so I better just start living and doing everything I want to rather than putting off everything waiting to get my life back. So, I have been tossing plans around quickly in my head like crazy, and I am certain my blackberry will continue to be full of interesting things in the coming months...stay tuned!What's in your calendar? Put something good in there...stop waiting!
Saturday 2 February 2008
West Coast Swing, flat days, tiny glasses and Mandazi
A week ago mom and I visited Vancouver and saw grandma Gunn for the first time in several months. Since her second stroke a couple of years ago, she has been in a home in Burnaby, and last weekend she got a private room. Colleen, Allan and I did a "home improvement" episode, purchasing and assembling an Ikea dresser and LCD TV in a record 1.5 hours. Grandma's new room looked more like her place when we left her, and she also seemed more at home. While she is unable to speak more than an occasional word or two, I did feel like I had a visit. I was reminded of my acting instructor's mantra - the eyes speak volumes more than words. The weekend was also a great visit with Colleen, Allan, Grady and Joelle, and Chloe (golden doodle). We played a little Wii together, had several laughs and some great visiting, which I always enjoy so much with that crew. It is hard to believe how Grady and Joelle have so quickly grown up.
While Vancouver had a dump of snow while we were there, returning from +3 degree weather to - 33 degree deepfreeze Monday night was a bit of a shock. Wednesday I went to a play with my cousin Barbara, which was delightful because of the company, not so much for the talent! I also had a bit of an update from my doctor on Wednesday, indicating that the application was not yet en route to Ottawa as some "tiny" final changes to the contract were needed, but that the people most experienced with clinical trials were not "anticipating any roadblocks". My interpretation of that is there is some greater hope the application will be approved when it gets there....and that the timeline is starting to seem close. We'll see!
Tasha's surgery was at 1:15 last Friday and I spent some time with her and Ryan prior to the surgery as well as a little after she was out of recovery. She is a trooper. In general, it went well from the surgeon's perspective and also in terms of her anesthetic experience. She was home by around 7 pm that night to rest, and will find out the pathology results later this week or early next week, with the hope of clear, deep margins.
Saturday morning I woke up and wanted to get my blog posting done, but really didn't feel so great...I started a post, the paragraph below, but decided to wait until the fog lifted to complete it - I've included it here as it's a more realistic demonstration of where my head is at these days.
Today I honestly feel pretty "flat". Whenever I feel this way, I never know why I feel this way, I just do. Perhaps my dreams last night were too active and I didn't get enough rest. Maybe I am tired of being tired each morning. Perhaps I was anxious about Tasha's surgery and the relief of it being over is tiring. Or maybe the increasing likelihood of the transplant being approved and the reality of how much energy it will take to do it is starting to loom. Who knows. I'm sure by tomorrow or even this evening or even this afternoon I'll feel better and positive again and move on. I guess I just felt it necessary to share the ordinary,"flat" moments with you - I know they are not the end of the world, and they are the reason why the wonderful moments are quite wonderful, but don't they just plain suck while you're in them? Wishing you and I a non-flat day.....Tricia
By the afternoon, I did feel less flat. Mom and I had a fantastic lunch near downtown, at a place that reminded us of NYC. That night, Dad and I watched the Flames play from the FIRST row at the Saddledome. Having the players bash up against the glass right into our faces and the puck slap the boards at our feet was beyond incredible...I may never be able to attend a game in a normal seat again!
Sunday morning we had a quick visit from Brandon, Jack and Davis and the boys had their first taste of juice from a real glass (tiny glasses that Dad always loves to drink regular beverages in) and it was pretty funny. They talk a lot to each other now and seem to understand one another - they are also saying a few words to us as well, as well as continuing to explore and entertain continually.
While still tired from the surgery, I knew Tasha had bounced back to her silly self on Sunday, when I visited her and assisted her in making some kind of strudel that she recalled her Danish grandma preparing years ago. With an altered recipe and limited recollection of the details, we made, kneaded and rolled (I did most of the rolling, as Tasha says "you're Italian") the doughey mixture (laughing at ourselves along the way) and cooked it as best we could....the result was called "Mandazi"which sounds delicious but apparently it not so great-tasting!
Later tonight I'll speak about my story and the importance of research, at the Team In Training season kick-off party, for marathon runners/fundraisers. Tomorrow Day 1 starts again and I am hoping for some more news on the application. I feel like the waiting is going to be over soon, and I will shift from waiting to some planning, preparing and doing some last minute things that I will not be able to do for a while once the treatment begins (travelling, sushi, swimming come to mind). Thanks to everyone for prayers, energy and support in these many months of waiting...I'll be sure to do a quick post whenever I get some news.
While Vancouver had a dump of snow while we were there, returning from +3 degree weather to - 33 degree deepfreeze Monday night was a bit of a shock. Wednesday I went to a play with my cousin Barbara, which was delightful because of the company, not so much for the talent! I also had a bit of an update from my doctor on Wednesday, indicating that the application was not yet en route to Ottawa as some "tiny" final changes to the contract were needed, but that the people most experienced with clinical trials were not "anticipating any roadblocks". My interpretation of that is there is some greater hope the application will be approved when it gets there....and that the timeline is starting to seem close. We'll see!
Tasha's surgery was at 1:15 last Friday and I spent some time with her and Ryan prior to the surgery as well as a little after she was out of recovery. She is a trooper. In general, it went well from the surgeon's perspective and also in terms of her anesthetic experience. She was home by around 7 pm that night to rest, and will find out the pathology results later this week or early next week, with the hope of clear, deep margins.
Saturday morning I woke up and wanted to get my blog posting done, but really didn't feel so great...I started a post, the paragraph below, but decided to wait until the fog lifted to complete it - I've included it here as it's a more realistic demonstration of where my head is at these days.
Today I honestly feel pretty "flat". Whenever I feel this way, I never know why I feel this way, I just do. Perhaps my dreams last night were too active and I didn't get enough rest. Maybe I am tired of being tired each morning. Perhaps I was anxious about Tasha's surgery and the relief of it being over is tiring. Or maybe the increasing likelihood of the transplant being approved and the reality of how much energy it will take to do it is starting to loom. Who knows. I'm sure by tomorrow or even this evening or even this afternoon I'll feel better and positive again and move on. I guess I just felt it necessary to share the ordinary,"flat" moments with you - I know they are not the end of the world, and they are the reason why the wonderful moments are quite wonderful, but don't they just plain suck while you're in them? Wishing you and I a non-flat day.....Tricia
By the afternoon, I did feel less flat. Mom and I had a fantastic lunch near downtown, at a place that reminded us of NYC. That night, Dad and I watched the Flames play from the FIRST row at the Saddledome. Having the players bash up against the glass right into our faces and the puck slap the boards at our feet was beyond incredible...I may never be able to attend a game in a normal seat again!
Sunday morning we had a quick visit from Brandon, Jack and Davis and the boys had their first taste of juice from a real glass (tiny glasses that Dad always loves to drink regular beverages in) and it was pretty funny. They talk a lot to each other now and seem to understand one another - they are also saying a few words to us as well, as well as continuing to explore and entertain continually.
While still tired from the surgery, I knew Tasha had bounced back to her silly self on Sunday, when I visited her and assisted her in making some kind of strudel that she recalled her Danish grandma preparing years ago. With an altered recipe and limited recollection of the details, we made, kneaded and rolled (I did most of the rolling, as Tasha says "you're Italian") the doughey mixture (laughing at ourselves along the way) and cooked it as best we could....the result was called "Mandazi"which sounds delicious but apparently it not so great-tasting!
Later tonight I'll speak about my story and the importance of research, at the Team In Training season kick-off party, for marathon runners/fundraisers. Tomorrow Day 1 starts again and I am hoping for some more news on the application. I feel like the waiting is going to be over soon, and I will shift from waiting to some planning, preparing and doing some last minute things that I will not be able to do for a while once the treatment begins (travelling, sushi, swimming come to mind). Thanks to everyone for prayers, energy and support in these many months of waiting...I'll be sure to do a quick post whenever I get some news.
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