Waking in my room this morning there is some sun coming thorough the window. Similar to last Saturday morning but entirely different. It wasn't even a week ago I learned of the 5 tumours in my brain yet in many ways I feel like it's been a month. Life is so strange.
Before I run out of energy - update is that two of the large tumours in the cerebellum will be surgical removed after this weekend, likely Tuesday (timing is never 100%) Maybe a third smaller one that's close by. That will entail cutting into my skull to open it up, removing bone and tumours and then sewing various things back up. It's a craniotomy although your google searches will result in many inaccurate results ;) Approximately 4-8 hours depending on complications - infection, bleeding, stroke, spinal fluid leak age, death etc. Any such surgery involves risks - mine are slightly higher given my spotted past issues. Good news is the surgical, nursing, internal medical teams are all amazing so best we can do. I have one more consult with anesthesia and will be doing some pre-op medication switches for safety.
If all goes well recovery will be several weeks before they can then can do another scan and hit the remaining smaller tumours with focused radiosurgery or as I think if it as the snipers. The one closest to my brain stem is the most positionally a problem as so much goes on in that section.
In all my other fights w cancer I have used my brain extensively not only to stay positive but to actually fight and visualize the cancer leaving. Its different now - any rapid thoughts cause me stress that these foreign masses will shift grow or change before we can get to them. So I have been really trying to keep calm. The steroid medication seems to be managing swelling symptoms so I just have to pray that continues until surgery.
Virtual love, prayers, thoughts and support from everyone continues to be an indescribable bubble of energy keeping me going so I graciously ask for more in coming weeks as things get very scary for me. I will conserve my energy on individual responses but each drop of love I read is truly appreciated.
And please do something joyful this weekend, laugh extra hard, and appreciate the mundane.
T
