So this will be short but likely not so upbeat as I don't have a lot of energy left from the day. The basic result of my oncology appointment is that the chemo part of this equation is a lot more important than I expected it to be - without it the risk of the cancer returning is about 50/50 so starting some solid chemo within 60 days of surgery is a must have. Dr. Stewart knows my history and me personally very well, yet considering the risk and my vacation plans, allowed me to delay starting chemo but only to January 12...so I get one week in Maui. Not what I wanted to hear or expected.
The fact that he was serious about it was more important to me as I had in my head that the chemo part of the equation was smaller, that it was really about a slim chance of recurrence, and that the drugs I would take would not be that toxic, and that I could do it while returning to work in February. Also not true. 6 three-week cycles if I can handle it, 4 minimum, of 2 pretty solid agents (one I know very well from induction chemo 1997, 2002 and even 2006 when I only got 10 days in), during which time most people can't work, and a full year of Herceptin (an antibody that helps prevent recurrence when you have Her2 positive breast cancer) injections every three weeks (not so concerned about those). My battled heart and other organs will be closely monitored as there is higher risk they will not enjoy another round with these agents, new and old, and my slightly open neck wound from the flesh eating disease skin graft may also cause some issues once my counts drop. Oh yeah, and with no chance of a port inserted into my chest due to all the trauma it has endured, my hand veins may be the only way to get this stuff in me.
So I think maybe its the whole equation that I underestimated, not just the chemo part. It seems like a calculus problem more when I thought maybe I was hoping for just a long division one. I probably should have waited to blog until tomorrow when I maybe have more ability to spin it positively. I feel like the Grinch now - ....apologies. Please enjoy your holiday festivities, food and family immensely - it is the only gift I ask for for Christmas.
