Pa rumpa pum pum...

Sitting here listening to Justin Bieber singing Christmas music (and not afraid to say it), warm and away from the freezing cold snowy air outside.  For those who were unhappy about not enough snow...good for you. Personally I can do Christmas in any color, as long as I have the people I want, and am looking forward to being in Maui January 2nd with mom and dad for a couple weeks of sand, ocean and palm tree colors. Mele Kiliki Maka.

Tricia's Trotters came our in full force with around 40 of us walking in perfect weather in late September.  Vancouver's trottters made it out for yet another year later in October too.  Overall we raised around $7,500 which was amazing.  Thanks to all for joining us in body or in spirit.

October started with celebrating my brother's birthday with candled cinnamon buns (everyone gets to blow them out).  Work was a bit busier than I liked so  NYC trip didn't fit in, but I did get to Toronto for a night for PwC's CEO Awards with some amazing ladies.  To start November, I was proud to watch Tasha be recognized in 2012's Top 40 under 40 as her son Talyn watched on and later shook hands with Mayor Nenshi.

While I hadn't planned a trip for November, it seems travel always finds me (:)) and I spent a few fun days in Montreal shopping and eating with my friend Yvette before we took in the UFC 154 fights (yes, that's right).  All I can say is I saw a documentary on a few of these guys a while back, got interested, and the crowd that night with George St Pierre in his hometown was louder than any CFL/NBA game I have ever attended (Riders included!!). 

In December mom, dad and I crashed the Regina Antonini's Christmas party and there were 54 of us in Rob and Bonnie's place enjoying laughter, food and drink as long as we could stay awake.  It is a remarkable family and was so awesome to visit with so many cousins who I knew growing up, meet their kids or remark on how they've grown (I get why people did that to me now), including my little angel Ellie Tricia Rose, get to know cousins who were too young to know when I was growing up, and aunts and uncles who now seem closer in age to me and reconnect with them more as friends.  And you will be pleased to know that my Uncle Tony who next month also will be 15 years post-transplant (kidney from sister Marcia) shook hands on a deal to "go for 5 more". 

While in Sask, I also got a short visit with goddaughter Mireya (and her mom Amy, grandma GG and great-grandma) and she demonstrated the amazingness that can be accomplished in only 2.5 years.  Age is really irrelevant isn't it. 

Having been in Regina, I missed my PwC Christmas party so instead decided to have the smaller group of people who I often sit with at the monster size dinner to my house last weekend for appetizers and cheer.  I have a great group of colleagues and friends that I work with and we really have a lot of fun together - so I do feel like I've gotten to experience the season a lot this year.  Gifts of moments - that's what it's about.

I realize my posts have become less frequent - but only as a result of life just being too interesting to stop and report! A few weeks ago I sent 15 cookies to my hero for 15 years since transplant #1 and we got to have a spontaneous bite to eat together too. A bit surreal as it often feels like 150 years, and then 15 minutes since everything...all I know is that from my brother to Oliver to mom and dad, to family, friends and coworkers to the docs and nurses at Tom Baker and Sloan Kettering, I am incredibly fortunate.

I know it's been a struggle this last week to feel like truly celebrating when you know (but can't possibly imagine) the pain that the families and friends and thousands of people that were impacted by some act we cannot understand in Connecticut must feel...the inability to really direct that pain and anger and disbelief, because there is no answer to why. All we really can do is live. And hug those around you. And laugh. It is a stark and in-your-face reminder that uncertainty, in whatever form it takes, is always around us. Awareness of that is our only tool to counter it.

So let's enjoy our gift openings, favorite meals, the eggnog, the turkey, the time to spend with loved ones and friends. Enjoy them just a little more... the only way to respect those families who have been shattered is by appreciating the moments we have now. And respect but don't be paralyzed by uncertainty. Not just this month but forever. Life will be just that more potent as a result.

Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays. Mele kiliki maka.

Evaporating

I am sure you all agree that summer this year just evaporated.  Maybe it was the nice warm weather after a wet and cold June, but I can hardly comprehend that it is "mid-September" already.  Life just keeps swirling forward at a pace that seems hard to keep up with or at least difficult to catch each moment before it disappears.

Tomorrow I check in for a visit at the bone marrow clinic...just regular 6 month "hello" and will have little to report.  My fatigue continues to be better since the resolution of my kidney/phosphate issue, which is really helpful.  I still have the odd day where I feel pretty exhausted, but given everything I have on the go and all things considered, its pretty incredible how I am doing.  It's tempting to think about the fact I have surpassed the 4 year mark when 2-3 was given as a hope, but I also know the danger in counting and marking days on the calendar too well.  Better to focus on how many interesting moments have happened and are happening in the current day and week. Going to the clinic also reminds me how well I am and how not well I have been in the past, and to celebrate the gap that exists in between those extremes as much as possible.

Past weeks and months were a blur of sun, golf and a lot of visiting and laughing with friends and family.  June's highlight certainly had to be seeing my (beautiful and talented) cousin Mary dancing, singing and acting on Broadway - chatting with her, sponging her energy, and connecting with a number of friends while I was there reminded me of how much I love that city.

Golf games, patio drinks and another girls trip to Vegas added fun to the weeks to follow NYC.  Tasha and I explored Toronto one weekend when I joined her in attending a fantrastic wedding of a mutual friend. Mom, dad and I really enjoyed German breakfast sausages while Skyping with Oliver and his family and friends in August.  Also got to hang out with Colleen, Allan, Grady (now over six foot two) and Joelle when they visited Calgary - always great to see them.  I was also treated to a few days with my goddaughter Mireya and her mom and grandmother, who along with mom and I learned how to race back and forth accross a cottage early in the morning in true Olympian style "ready, set, go".  Her vocabulary is remarkable for a just-turned 2 year old...she is 2 going on 22 for sure...just a sweetheart.

Speaking of sweethearts, Jack and Davis started grade 1 last week and attend a different class from each other - I wonder if it's the longest they have ever been apart since birth? - and are loving it.  I continue to see them often...and they are quite happy with what they call their "3 homes - their house, Dad's house and Nana and Papa's".  Kids are a great role model for adapting to change.  They are swinging golf clubs and scootering the streets, making friends wherever they go.  They even got their papa to wear the Montana's hat on his birthday...they rule our world and keep their dad laughing for sure.

My volunteer work with Alberta Health Services continues to fuel me with the hope to improve care and prognosis for people affected by cancer, and even reduce the number of people who have to even think about it.  To celebrate that hope and to celebrate life, I will be at Light the Night in Calgary on September 29, walking and chatting with a few friends, family and coworkers, carrying a white balloon.  If you'd like to join me you can find the "PwC - Tricia's Trotters" team using the link below.  If you want to donate, there's also a link.  The LTN Saskatoon walk is also on September 29, so I won't be able to go this year :(, and LTN Vancouver is October 20.  Don't worry if you can't make it and don't feel any pressure to donate...all I would like is for everyone to take a moment to toast life on the 29th or the 20th (and random days and moments afterward!). 

As much as summer is wonderful, I do love the colours and energy of Fall.  My hope is that it does not disappear as quickly as summer did :)

Cheers

Join PwC Tricia's Trotters team

Donate at Tricia's LTN page

Photos - from top left to bottom right - Amy and Mireya "riding the bus" at Echo Lake beach, Jack and Davis celebrating Papa's birthday at Montana's "viking style", cousins Joelle and Grady posing with me, my brother, Jack and Davis,  Mary signing autographs outside Stage Door of JCS in NYC (seriously awesome), roller coasters rule for J&D at Calaway Park, and the view from our cabana at Azure pool in Las Vegas (the only pic you'll see).

The month of June

I realize it has been a while since I blogged.  I can only say that life has been so full, that either I have been living so much, or that I have been so tired from trying to live so fully, that I have not honestly had enough energy to write about it.  Which has to be a good thing, right?

Last night I decided to watch Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close and found some energy to blog.  Since I last posted, I have seen and experienced many things, as all of us have, and I am grateful for all of them.  But like most photos, recalling the moments that pass does not ever give justice to the intensity of those moments.  Sharing them is difficult as you may understand, from your experiences with wonderful times in life, as when you try to explain fantastic but simple things, often the shine that comes with each second, is somehow slightly dulled by attempting to describe it.  Even the pictures taken by the most sophisticated camera do not every capture how you felt when you snapped them.

In any case, to start with, I am healthy.  My biggest concern when I week after week realize that I have not blogged is that there are so many people out there checking my blog who are wondering how I am doing.  People who prayed, thought, sent energy, whatever mechanism they believe in, for me, toward me when 15 years ago I first started this incredible journey with uncertainty, 6 years ago when I had my third dance with the end of this human experience, and all the times in between when I needed something more than a treatment to help me through.  In context of my current occupation, you are the shareholders, the people who invested to make it happen.  As any good public company would, I feel an enormous sense of responsibility to report to you at a minimum, how your investment is doing.  Which is pretty darn good.

The first five months of 2012 have brought me many good things and taken me many places– an amazing time with Mom and Dad in Maui, heaven on earth, for the majority of January...February was mostly a bit too much work, as well as March, but then April took me to Las Vegas for a weekend of laughter and fun with Mom and Colleen on our annual Gunn Girls Getaway, and the following weekend experienced more than a dozen wonderful bands at Coachella music festival in Southern California with Tasha.  May is my busiest month at work and I so am happy to see it pass, and later in June I’ll get to see my cousin Mary on Broadway (yep, really!) in NYC and connect with a pile of old friends.  Yes, I travel now and then.  Technically, I can’t afford the travel costs I allow myself.  But I do it anyway.  It’s what I do, because I love it. No excuses.  And while travel always brings such great experiences, the laughing, talking, eating, drinking and playing with family and friends, regardless of the destination, continues to fill me up every day.

The first five months of 2012 have also been my most tired.  I seemed to feel more and more tired, and although there are many potential sources of my fatigue (anemia caused by the Gleevec medication I take daily to counter the scleroderma, which was caused by rejection to my last bone marrow transplant, having 3 bone marrow transplants, too much chemo, getting older and doing too much), another source evolved – low phosphate – which I have had for over a year and half, but which had become critically low in recent months.  A visit to an endricrinologist (one specialist I did not previously have on my extensive list) determined that my kidney is “wasting” phosphate for some reason, which can cause a number of other issues if it continues to succeed.  Luckily for me, the specialist figured out a plan and last week blood results indicated his plan is working.  And the beat goes on :)J

So now, in June 2012, I am doing well.  Yesterday I dropped in on Jack and Davis’ 6^th birthday party, which is entirely amazing in itself, and celebrated with Transformer cake and flying juice cups.   Spectacular, particularly, when I think Junes before this have included diagnosis (1997), admission for 2^nd transplant (2003), admission for 3^rd transplant (2008), and admission for pericarditis (2010). 

This week, on the anniversary of so many cancer-related events, I head to Edmonton, for my quarterly meetings of the Alberta Health Services Advisory Council – Cancer that I was appointed to last Fall, as well as the Core Committee of the Cancer Care Strategic Clinical Network, which I was nominated to in May.  It seems quite appropriate.

I am excited to play more golf this summer, have wine on a patio and laugh with friends.  I still plan to  see the Hunger Games after I read all 3 books and loved them, and will watch for Mary at the Tony’s  tonight(again, really?!).  I’m positive I’ll continue to be tired, but for good reason.  And that is my report to the investors.  Who made it all happen.  Hope you’re satisfied with your return ;)

Photos - Jack sporting the viking hat on his 6th birthday at Montana's, some of my birthday flowers and cards, Davis enjoying ice cream and being 6 and a viking simultaneously, Coachella by dusk, backstage at Coachella - Florence & the Machines equipment, , the boys "transformer" party with their friends, Oliver (my 2nd transplant donor)'s son Noah's birthday drawing for me.