Christmas wishes for a full and good life

It's 9 degrees outside and that is exactly what I wished for! I hope all of you are having a wonderful Christmas morning/day with your family. We had an early Christmas yesterday morning with Jack and Davis and despite the incredible excitement they both had over opening all their gifts, Davis said "Christmas isn't about the treats, it's about GIVING and family time and SHARING"! I think then he and Jack headed into the garage to drive their new remote cars into each other, but he obviously got the message that much of the world forgets this time of year. 5-year old logic rules all, once again.




To say the past few months have flown by is an understatement and I won't even attempt to recall or capture everything that has occured in the weeks behind me. Work for many reasons these past months was way busier than expected and I have pushed the limits a bit too far to deal with some client deadlines - one of my 2012 resolutions is to ensure I manage a better balance. Despite that I have been doing all kinds of wonderful things outside of work.

October's highlights included a quick trip to NYC to attend my third Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Centre's Transplant Survivor Celebration, where I got to catch up with my amazing doctors and give them a first hand look at their fantastic research results. While my portal to the universe Elaine's restaurant is closed now after Elaine's passing a year ago, mom and I managed to catch up with many of our old friends from there thanks to Facebook keeping us connected. When we returned, later that week I was honoured to attend the launch party of Calgary's Avenue magazine "Top 40 under 40" as I was named to the 2011 class. You can check out the article and all the 39 other honourees online.



http://www.avenuecalgary.com/top-40-under-40/tricia-antonini



My friend Michelle nominated me and I was surprised out of 350 nominees that I was included in the group - but what it does speak of is hope. 5 years before the launch party, in October 2006, I had just learned to swallow, breath, walk and go to the bathroom on my own following weeks in ICU after surviving flesh eating disease, and although I was stable, the threat of the leukemia was imminent after having treatment interrupted so quickly after it had started. No one could have convinced me that I would survive let alone get back to work, voluntering and have my story in a magazine 5 years later. So the article reminds you once again that anything is possible.




November included attending a number of charity events - anchored by Tasha's Rethink Breast Cancer Boobyball, which was one of the best and most successful yet in raising funds for supporting young breast cancer patients while they fight the disease. I also managed to fit in a quick trip to see Dr. Aung after over a year and a half gap, which always gives me a boost of energy and joy.




December has been full of fun (in between lots of work!) not just because of our holiday party at work. My cousin Brant who lives in LA and works in the reality TV arena, discovered my addiction (or devotion) to the reality Series Survivor and managed to get 4 tickets for me and my 3 fellow "Survivor pool powerchicks" (Julie, Laura, Shannon - friends from work) to attend the live finale show at CBS studios in LA. Seeing Brant, his wife Juliana and their kids, my cousin Shawn, my aunt and uncle Marcia and Dennis on the Friday night was such an awesome bonus. It was a fantastic Hollywood weekend, complete with premium restaurant experiences, celebrity spotting, Chateau Marmont accomodation, limo pick up and laughing with friends and family. And showing the show's creator Mark Burnett our famous "Survivor plaque" with the name of each season's pool winner engraved on it, and explaining the 23 blank spots showed how long we thought the show would continue ("Wouldn't that be nice" was his response) was also fun. I love LA!




Last night mom, dad and I enjoyed delicious appetizers at Tasha's with her brother Chad and mom and dad Birthe and Jerry, laughing ourselves silly while playing the "present game". This morning we talked to Jack and Davis who were playing air hockey with their Dad after having a visit from Santa.



And on Saturday, I will escape to paradise with mom and dad to meet Colleen, Allan, Grady and Joelle for New Year's Eve in Maui, followed by a couple weeks of sun and relaxation. Life is good. Life is full. Wishing you all a full and good life. Cheers.


Tricia

Thanks for the layers

Giving thanks is certainly not an annual holiday for me. Each day I am appreciative of so much and have many moments where I am nearly overwhelmed by my good fortune - my health, my incredible family, supportive friends, my career and coworkers, my stability, living in Canada, ability to travel and see things...the list goes on an on. The past month and a half was overflowing with experiences and moments that were so amazing. From a trip to Vegas with girlfriends including a helicopter tour of the Grand Canyon (the only photo permissable to share), to Lighting the Night twice with friends, family, family of family including a host of energetic kids, to attending multiple other charity events with a variety of insprational speakers, to celebrating my big brother's 40th birthday, to enjoying turkey, ham and delicious salads and desserts with over a dozen (or 2?)aunts, uncles, cousins and children of cousins, living life lately has been a Thanksgiving zone itself.



And while it is so true that everything lately has been wonderful - even my health with a good visit to the bone marrow clinic and no need to return for 6 months, as well as finally getting hearing aids for both ears and finding out what the world ACTUALLY sounds like - I will share with you that I have just finished a very "flat" week - emotionally, physically, mentally. Very rarely do I feel this cloudy and exhausting greyness envelope me for no apparent reason, where my outlook on anything is not my usual positive, but rather just about everything is annoying, frustrating and tiring. Aside from the fatigue usually the physical affect of this is limited, but this week it was worse than ever, more like a storm than a cloud. And when I feel like this, I am further frustrated by the awareness that I am in that cloudy state, and have really no direct reason to feel that way (as the story above and pictures below confirm) and that further ticks me off. I decided to share this with everyone after talking to my cousin Amy who was very unhappy to hear how I was feeling but also commented that it was helpful to know that I am not ALWAYS positive (as no one is). I am happy to report that yesterday the grey really started to exit and it is pretty darn sunny again. I suppose that what is also important about these little storms and clouds, as I expect everyone can relate to, is that without them we wouldn't know what the sun really feels like. It's just another layer of life to experience, to have context as to what the other layers are really made of. So I am thankful for the layers.



Now a glimpse of the incredible last month and a half - I think the pictures really do the talking ....Cheers and Thanks, Tricia

A friend and cooworker Yvette and I were amazed by both the helicopter ride and the Grand Canyon itself...two life list items checked at once!

Elisabet (Ellie) Tricia Rose Gustafson, my cousin Holly's daughter, 5, shows off her Light the Night shirt - she had the most donors on our Saskatoon Tricia's Trotter's team. She also managed to bring with her as walking support Ed, Deanie (grandparents), Jamie, Holly (parents), Heather (aunt), Eddie, Mia, Lui, Beata (siblings) - all driving up from Regina - as well as her mom's cousins Rhea, Rhett and their spouses and kids, and her great aunt Shirley from Saskatoon!

The other Antonini twins, my cousins Jessica and Nick (Hanging with their grandma) also made the trip from Regina with mom Bonnie. My cousin Jenna-Lee and friend Becky also survived the drive up and it was great to see everyone. Jessica masterfully interpretted my speech at LTN 2010 about all of us being canvasses and that a potent life looks a little like a Jackson Pollock, and created our unbelievable banner to carry as we walked through the leaves along the river in Saskatoon on September 17, 2011.

Talyn and James are all bundled up for the Calgary LTN which was a lot colder - James' Dad is happy he's got a Starbucks to keep warm. My friends Michelle and Doug layered up little Morgan and Alex (who I think is looking down for the tiny flashlights my Dad discovered were being handed out).

Tricia's Trotters included Mom and Dad, my aunt Mary Ellen, uncle Marty and his partner Karen, Tasha and Talyn, friends Jamie, Laura and their son James, friends Doug, Michelle and their kids Alex and Morgan, friend Trevor with his dog Huxley (as a Whippet, our pace was terribly slow for him), friend (and former fellow LLS board member) Jim, coworkers Yvette and Julie, friends Neil with sons Andy and Alex (his wife Em, a leukemia survivor, signed up but had their baby girl Vivienne a few days prior to the walk!) Between Calgary and Saskatoon and PwC, Tricia's Trotters raised over $8,000 - truly remarkable. And there is still the Vancouver walk coming up this week!

He graciously declined the giant moose hat and singing at Montana's, but my brother couldn't avoid the paper version with his 2 little "deer" on either side. We had a really fun family dinner to celebrate his 40th on Oct 4, including a guy doing balloon super heros that Jack (spiderman) and Davis (incredible hulk) were thrilled with (actually all of us were mezmerized). Happy birthday big brother - wishing you an exceptional 40th year.

Sweet summer

Summer has really been rather wonderful, with the exception that it of course has slipped away so quickly. Lots of Elle Golf nights with warm calm weather and a sprinkling of good golf shots, slower pace at work with extra days off called Fabulous Fridays, more time on my patio, evenings with friends and family and only 3 mosquito bites. Stampede started the hot weather as usual and it seems to be continuing as September looms.

The heat will spike a little higher but the pool will help counter it when I head to Vegas on Friday with 24 women. It's the third annual trip with a number of girls from work and it always proves to be fun as well as proves that Blackberry Messenger is still the best free form of communication despite the IPhone's many other remarkable features. Whether you want to shop, dance, gamble or be poolside, a quick BBM and you know who is doing what where. Rather fantastic.

And for those of you who think I am always travelling, know that Vegas is really my first trip since my last Vegas trip in late April (4 months), except for a quick weekend to Regina in July in which I only flew one direction. And for those of you who say I am always going to Vegas, it's true. Three times this year, three different groups of people, and three exceptional value fun weekend getways.

Speaking of the trip to Regina, it was a perfect weekend for the weather, the friends, the family, the beautiful setting compliments of Ellen, the flowers, the words, the pictures, the punch, the laughter, the party - finally celebrating fully and appropriately my Grandma Gunn as we lay her ashes to rest at the foot of my grandpa's grave. She would have so enjoyed the crowd that gathered remembering her full and vibrant life and how much we all loved her.

And with September around the corner, I am once again planning to Light the Night in both Saskatoon and Calgary. No speaking this year, just walking and enjoying time with all the amazing people who keep me alive and who I could never fully express my thanks to. Whoever is able to come out - a very "chilled out" version! If you happen to be in Saskatoon on September 17 and want to walk, join the Tricia's Trotters Saskatoon team Tricia's Trotters Saskatoon or Tricia's Trotters Calgary team on October 1 Tricia's Trotters Calgary . I won't be in Vancouver but I know there will be a group there likely walking on October 15 as well. Certainly if you can't join the walk and want to support it, you can donate at Tricia's Fundraising Page. In any case, wherever you are I just ask you to do a toast to life and everyone and everything we get to experience during this crazy human experience we continue to enjoy. Cheers...

Tricia

A sunny day and a patio

It's been forever since my last post and don't worry it's not because of my health...just the business of life and being busy (like everyone). And with the sun finally shining this evening I am able to finally take a few moments to blog while sitting on my patio. I love summer. And the concept of a patio.

And in no particular order the past 2 months included ...an awesome trip to Vegas with Mom and Colleen, trying out the Palazzo and loving the shopping, sipping, snacking and pool-side sleeping (and realizing my camera no longer works) ...working a little way too much in May on all the not-for-profit clients I do love (but am happy to finalize this week)...rebounding from bronchitis and pnemonia without too much drama...celebrating birthdays all over the place - Mr. Talyn reaching 6 with Legoland, texting miss Joelle 10th birthday wishes, celebrating mine all along the long weekend, Jack and Davis turning 5 going on 15 (pics from my phone!), Tasha catching up to me after her usual three weeks of being younger than me, missing wishing Grandma G happy birthday for the first time and Skyping with my goddaughter on our mutual birthday (she is super sweet)...feeling tired of being tired but not tired of living tired...laughing my head off doing a "wine, dine and nine" golf event with Michelle W and her friends...counselling a few "newbies" about the crazy world of cancer...figuring out the next level of Lego Batman with the boys..."Singstarring" with Tasha with a little song selection from Ryan?!...watching Jack score 3 goals and Davis make the greatest save ever in soccer...watching handfuls of white dust fly into the river after funny memories of Ryan shared by Tasha, Talyn, friends and family (is it scatter my ashes or release me perhaps?)...aching cheeks from smiling while watching Bridesmaids with mom...almost getting to the end of Archinoid (arcade version for the Wii) with Dad......reaching 3 years post #3 (and getting an incredible congratulations card to mark it)...watching a swarm of 50 misquitoes lurk above my bro like Peanuts' "pigpen" (what cologne is that?) while watching the boys play soccer, and witnessing him swat and kill 41 (seriously) of them in a matter of 20 minutes...playing golf at PwC golf day, almost exactly 14 years since THE golf day, with a "new start" who should join the Nationwide tour (thanks to him for the new golf shirt I won)...getting out on a couple of dates and actually surviving the process......not visiting the BMT clinic but actually visiting my GP for the first time in a decade(!)...tasting too much wine with old friends on an important day...looking forward to a lazy July and a couple of road trips this summer and whatever the next 2 months will bring....:) T

Easter Wishes

Life has been again busy lately with lots of good moments. The past few days I've been feeling awful with an infection of some sort but it seems the antibiotics have kicked in and I feel human again today! Along with that, there is finally both sun and warmth outside, all in time for Easter Sunday.


I had a great trip to Vegas with Shelley (aside from a cold I had while down there!) and we took in the glory of the Encore/Wynn, poolside and shopping, eating and playing "Jackpot Party" which got us laughing. With Shelley's first trip to LV, we also explored a few other hotels and were reminded of all that is surreal there (Jelly Belly Statue of Liberty at NYNY hotel). It was lots of fun.








A few weeks later Tasha and I experienced Coachella in California as VIPs - our all access passes with the "Safari Tents" (if camping were only that easy) we rented got us behind the scenes and into some sweet areas where we stood next to a number of celebs - Paris and Leo to name a few! The weather was crazy hot, the bands were amazing, art installations interesting (giant dandelions) and our tents air conditioned...it was a unique experience we plan to replay again.

Aside from that. work has been busy but not crazy (even got to feed the elephants apples while auditing the Zoo), and other than a couple of cold/coughs (regular stuff), my health has been quite stable - down to bloodwork only every month now. Physio each week has proved to help my range of motion considerably, so it's motivation to keep on that. Maybe even get some golf in if the snow would go away!

A couple of weeks ago, I went with Tasha and Talyn to the hospice where Ryan stayed last year, on the anniversary of his passing April 4. Hard to imagine it's been a year and in other ways it seems longer. Visiting the "pad" as he called it was good. Peaceful place - makes me more confident that he is also at peace, as much as he is missed here. That evening we had dinner with a few of their friends, as Talyn wanted to have a party, "in case people have forgotten Daddy". Of course, anyone who knew him could never forget.

A few days later I hosted poker night in my condo finally after a year and a half with my girls from work which was fun and on Wednedsday leave for the Gunn Girls Getaway with Mom and Colleen - I know it's another trip to Vegas but what can you do? We're even staying at a different hotel so really it's an entirely different thing. Who am I to justify another trip! It's what I love to do, so I continue to do it.

I've finished putting together some little Easter bags for Jack, Davis and Talyn and tonight we'll have Easter dinner at Mom and Dad's. I love to see those little guys - they are just dudes now, no little boys anymore. Ready for anything. It's inspiring.

Wishing you all a sunny Easter and a chance to celebrate the love we have around us. And maybe eat a chocolate bunny or egg or two ;)

Tricia

Thawing out

I can't imagine it's March. February just slipped away and after the warmth of Maui, winter has been colder than usual and I think everyone's just gone into slight survival mode. Just get to where you need to go but don't do anything optional that would involve driving icy roads and leaving your car to freeze itself!


My blood counts have stabilized during the past month or so - my hemoglobin remains below normal but is a really common side effect of the Gleevec medication I am taking for the scleroderma. After finding out that that skin condition won't likely ever reverse, and that Gleevec is likely the only possibility of any improvement, I am willing to live with the low blood counts hoping for any improvement. I also started back to physio to maximize what range of motion I have now with the tightened skin. A great physio guy and a kinesiologist have been a big help in getting that rolling. And at the end of the day, I am still miles ahead of where I should be so I'll just keep doing the meds and exercise and enjoy life.


In amongst the cold weather, there were lots of great visits with friends and family (including my goddaughter Miss Mireya), playing Wii with all my little boys (Jack beat me at tennis a couple weeks ago) and even work was busy but manageable. My volunteer work with cancer patients also continues to provide inspiration. While I haven't been away since Maui (that's almost 2 months without a flight!!!), I have a few short trips coming up that have also been fun to look forward to. Thursday I leave for Vegas with my childhood friend Shelley and we are waiting for the sun, pool, shopping, shows and dining. It will be a great weekend getaway with a very good friend.


In a month Tasha and I are going to try to replenish our concert tanks after last year we had to miss out on Arcade Fire and Lilith Fair with all of my health drama. I also cancelled a trip last June to Winnipeg to see Tom Petty so I feel like our upcoming trip to Coachella, a 3-day concert festival near Palm Springs is completely logical. The line up is phenomenal and we have a more luxurious adaptation of "camping" to go with it. Should be excellent.

Late April Mom and Colleen and I will head back to Vegas for the now annual Gunn Girls Getaway weekend (Amy and Ellen - next year for sure) and more fun in the sun and shops and laughing our heads off. I think it was knowing I would be heading back to the sun a few times that got me through the latest cold spells!


So aside from the physio appointments and bloodwork, life has been mostly about living lately. Nice. I have been reminded more about who I am, outside the health story, and that has been rather refreshing. The world looks pretty good. Even my space at my condo has been evolving, with a few new paintings on the wall and some wall art (compliments of Tasha) that is totally my style. Funny how much these simple things make your mind relax into a comfortable place. Even the weather has started to warm up, and will be happy to continue enjoying life with some of my closest girls in the coming weeks. Ahh.

Mmmmmm.......Maui

Sitting on the sofa, looking outside to the frigid whiteness (a dump of snow past 2 days), it seems like Maui was just a dream...a very good dream!

Once again the Maui energy was lovely and our visit this year included enjoying it with a number of other people. Colleen, Allan, Grady and Joelle were there for 10 days of our trip - all of us arriving New Year's Eve. It was so much fun to do beach time (including making giant turtles in the sand), mojito time and dinners with them, and Grandma would have been quite happy to see it. We were even able to connect with Grandma's previous neighbours, the Hipwells, getting a couple of visits in with such wonderful friends of hers.

Other visits included a great dinner out with Yvette (a friend from work) and her family, catching up with Colleen, a friend (and distant cousin!) that I knew from my time in New York and her mom. A family that we met a couple years ago in Maui from Kelowna were back on the island and we had coffee and met up on the beach - Natalie's family is so wonderful (burying their brother) and her one son Jake could be another twin to Davis! Even Dad caught up with an accounting colleague from Regina when we had dinner with him and his wife. We also took in another crazy amazing night with Willy K - he still is my close second to Elton John for favourite musical entertainer.

Lots of great people. And food. And sun. And flowers. And mojitos. And sunsets. And snorkeling

with the turtles. And weddings (1

minimum per day on our beach). And whales (even caught a birthing just off our beach). And aside from Dad taking a terrible fall on a bike trip down the Haleakala crater which took him out of boogey boarding for over a week (luckily no fractures, just scrapes, bruises and about every muscle he knew pulled - but still smiling), Maui was perfect. It's amazing how I could sit and watch the waves, whales and tiny crabs pitching sand on the beach for hours. In our "normal" life, it's hard to sit and watch TV for an hour! I had to do bloodwork 3 times while I was there, as my counts are still hanging below normal (likely due to the medication) but even that was easy - a nice clinic only 10 minutes from our condo, that got the results to the bone marrow doctors faster than when I am in Calgary. And while I continue to be anemic (low red blood cells) which reduces my energy, it didn't stop me from catching as many waves as I wanted and snorkeling with the raccoon butterfly fish, humuhumunukunukuapaua's, trumpet fish, unicornfish and Sergeant fish.

Maui was a perfect start to a new year, a year I plan to be more of who I am, do more of what I love to do, and see more of the people I love to see. It's hard to figure out what exactly is the pull of Maui - the warmth, the people, the ocean, the sun, the calm - but every time I go all I want to do when I return is figure out how to get back. Aloha.