West Coast Swing, flat days, tiny glasses and Mandazi

A week ago mom and I visited Vancouver and saw grandma Gunn for the first time in several months. Since her second stroke a couple of years ago, she has been in a home in Burnaby, and last weekend she got a private room. Colleen, Allan and I did a "home improvement" episode, purchasing and assembling an Ikea dresser and LCD TV in a record 1.5 hours. Grandma's new room looked more like her place when we left her, and she also seemed more at home. While she is unable to speak more than an occasional word or two, I did feel like I had a visit. I was reminded of my acting instructor's mantra - the eyes speak volumes more than words. The weekend was also a great visit with Colleen, Allan, Grady and Joelle, and Chloe (golden doodle). We played a little Wii together, had several laughs and some great visiting, which I always enjoy so much with that crew. It is hard to believe how Grady and Joelle have so quickly grown up.


While Vancouver had a dump of snow while we were there, returning from +3 degree weather to - 33 degree deepfreeze Monday night was a bit of a shock. Wednesday I went to a play with my cousin Barbara, which was delightful because of the company, not so much for the talent! I also had a bit of an update from my doctor on Wednesday, indicating that the application was not yet en route to Ottawa as some "tiny" final changes to the contract were needed, but that the people most experienced with clinical trials were not "anticipating any roadblocks". My interpretation of that is there is some greater hope the application will be approved when it gets there....and that the timeline is starting to seem close. We'll see!



Tasha's surgery was at 1:15 last Friday and I spent some time with her and Ryan prior to the surgery as well as a little after she was out of recovery. She is a trooper. In general, it went well from the surgeon's perspective and also in terms of her anesthetic experience. She was home by around 7 pm that night to rest, and will find out the pathology results later this week or early next week, with the hope of clear, deep margins.


Saturday morning I woke up and wanted to get my blog posting done, but really didn't feel so great...I started a post, the paragraph below, but decided to wait until the fog lifted to complete it - I've included it here as it's a more realistic demonstration of where my head is at these days.


Today I honestly feel pretty "flat". Whenever I feel this way, I never know why I feel this way, I just do. Perhaps my dreams last night were too active and I didn't get enough rest. Maybe I am tired of being tired each morning. Perhaps I was anxious about Tasha's surgery and the relief of it being over is tiring. Or maybe the increasing likelihood of the transplant being approved and the reality of how much energy it will take to do it is starting to loom. Who knows. I'm sure by tomorrow or even this evening or even this afternoon I'll feel better and positive again and move on. I guess I just felt it necessary to share the ordinary,"flat" moments with you - I know they are not the end of the world, and they are the reason why the wonderful moments are quite wonderful, but don't they just plain suck while you're in them? Wishing you and I a non-flat day.....Tricia



By the afternoon, I did feel less flat. Mom and I had a fantastic lunch near downtown, at a place that reminded us of NYC. That night, Dad and I watched the Flames play from the FIRST row at the Saddledome. Having the players bash up against the glass right into our faces and the puck slap the boards at our feet was beyond incredible...I may never be able to attend a game in a normal seat again!




Sunday morning we had a quick visit from Brandon, Jack and Davis and the boys had their first taste of juice from a real glass (tiny glasses that Dad always loves to drink regular beverages in) and it was pretty funny. They talk a lot to each other now and seem to understand one another - they are also saying a few words to us as well, as well as continuing to explore and entertain continually.




While still tired from the surgery, I knew Tasha had bounced back to her silly self on Sunday, when I visited her and assisted her in making some kind of strudel that she recalled her Danish grandma preparing years ago. With an altered recipe and limited recollection of the details, we made, kneaded and rolled (I did most of the rolling, as Tasha says "you're Italian") the doughey mixture (laughing at ourselves along the way) and cooked it as best we could....the result was called "Mandazi"which sounds delicious but apparently it not so great-tasting!

Later tonight I'll speak about my story and the importance of research, at the Team In Training season kick-off party, for marathon runners/fundraisers. Tomorrow Day 1 starts again and I am hoping for some more news on the application. I feel like the waiting is going to be over soon, and I will shift from waiting to some planning, preparing and doing some last minute things that I will not be able to do for a while once the treatment begins (travelling, sushi, swimming come to mind). Thanks to everyone for prayers, energy and support in these many months of waiting...I'll be sure to do a quick post whenever I get some news.

Perspective

This week was overall a very good week. Aside from several health-related appointments, I did some babysitting (Davis and Jack are pretty hilarious now) and had a wonderful dinner with my sister-in-law Dana. I caught up with some friends, spoke to potential marathon runners about my leukemia experience, and helped my brother out with some of his latest real estate ventures. In a few minutes, I’ll board a plane to Vancouver, to visit Colleen, Allan, Grady and Joelle as well as my grandma Gunn, who is finally getting a private room at the nursing home she is in. I was feeling a bit of “plane” withdrawal, with my last flight over a month ago!

Last Thursday I met Tasha and Ryan at the hospital as she met with her doctor to discuss the results of her recent tests and treatment plans. My role in these visits is really to act as an extra set of ears in the room, taking in all the information the doctor provides and ensuring Tasha’s list of questions gets covered while she’s there. I (as were Tasha and Ryan!) was EXTREMELY pleased to learn that the various scans and tests did NOT indicate the cancer had spread beyond the area it was discovered in. WHEW. However, as those scans cannot give 100% assurance that the cancer is limited to the local area in which it was found, the doctors recommended further surgery around the area, as well as radiation treatment and hormone therapy following that. Chemotherapy was also discussed, as another tool to reduce the risk of recurrence should any sneaky cancer cells manage to escape the additional surgery and radiation. It didn’t take Tasha more than a second to reply “yes” to that option, wanting to hit the cancer with everything possible. I quietly cheered that choice from my chair in the corner of the room.

Following Tasha’s appointment, I whipped over to the bone marrow transplant unit (just down the hall conveniently) to stop in there to let them know of a few funny symptoms I had – after Dr. Brown checked me out, he let me know that he expected my application for the clinical trial to go to Ottawa in about a week. I’ll check back with him to see when it actually goes and let you know as soon as it does!

So, a week from tomorrow Tasha will have yet another surgery, and depending on the pathology report, she will start chemo a couple of weeks later, radiation treatment after than, and finally hormone therapy after that. Tasha was full of energy and drive leaving the hospital, armed with a plan and knowledge that she is now fighting the cancer with everything possible. It’s kind of amazing how positive we all felt that day, given the significant and lengthy treatment path ahead. Perspective sure is powerful.