Monday 11 May 2009

Moments Slammed Together

Many things have happened since my last post....small, big, wonderful, sad, remarkable. I've put off blogging because I find it difficult to group them together - to not disrespect the sad by lining up the good beside them, but not undercelebrate the wonderful because of the sad. I suppose this awkwardness of writing about these moments defines life itself - a series of moments wonderful and sad, slammed up against each other with not even a minute to grasp air and breathe let alone decide whether to cry or laugh.

My 1 year transplant date June 12th is fast approaching. I'll have another bone marrow aspirate as well as a number of other tests that I had prior to transplant as a measure of change. Dr. Brown had some good news for me when I saw him the week before last. Once the June 12th date has passed, I can stretch my next visit with him to 6 months, as long as there's no sign of Graft-versus-host-disease (GVHD). The plural form of "month" is something I haven't heard in a long time when it comes to my health and it is refreshing.

2 weeks ago tonight a true fighter passed away - my friend Heather, who I had first met in Austin, Texas with the Cancervive event in 2007. At that time she had breast cancer, and she and I met for coffee every once and a while while we did treatment, and took yoga together as 30-something professional women taking a detour to fight cancer. When her cancer moved to the brain, she never gave up, her attitude was always an inspiration to me. Even in her last weeks she managed to smile. She even kept blogging... http://www.onesimplegirl.wordpress.com/

My dad came up with a great idea for my mom for Mother's Day: brunch at her favourite brunch spot. Oh yeah, that's Balthazar, in NYC. He gave her a week and a half notice, and I of course agreed to accompany her (twist my rubber arm) for 4 days in my old island of Manhattan. We caught up with a few friends, took in a play, ate good food and did a "wine crawl" at some high-end hotel lobby bars in addition to brunch. I am pretty lucky to have an amazing friend who just happens to be my mother.
Even my NYC friends who have never met Tasha and Ryan asked about how they are doing, as do all of you. If you click on their blog links to the left, you can get a better picture (literally) of the latest turns in their roller coaster ride. The reduction in Ryan's tumour is nothing short of miraculous, and my only complaint is that Tasha has to even be hassled with any uncertainty over her health in the same morning as Ryan's incredible news. In a pure slam, a day later Talyn's 4th birthday party rocked the superhero world that even included a celebrity sighting as (a pretty buff) Spiderman made an appearance!

While I've managed pretty well going back to work these past couple of months, I realize my energy needs a little attention. I took advantage of a chance to boost my energy by attending Dr. Aung's Qi Gong workshop at the beginning of May. It was wonderful to connect with some very special people, take in Dr. Aung's healing as well as sharpen my Qi Gong skills.

As some of you know, I have a skin graft on my neck and chest left from the flesh-eating disease surgery in 2006. This past Tuesday my plastic surgeon did some minor surgery to "release" some of the skin graft, where it was pulling or restricting my range of motion. It took about an hour and I talked with the surgeon while he worked, and drove home afterward! Other than some slight discomfort, it went pretty smoothly. I even was able to drive up to Edmonton the next day and get a "tune up" from Dr. Aung, have a wonderful dinner with Amy and Ryland, visit an old childhood friend, and be back at work today.

On the drive back from Edmonton, I checked messages and became aware that a good friend who is expecting her 2nd child next week found out her mother passed away suddenly yesterday morning. She was a vibrant woman, wife, mother and grandmother and it is incredible to imagine she is gone. My prayers are with her family.

May 21st I turn 35 - 12 years older than the age I was when Tricia's Tides began to turn. It's been 12 years of wonderful and horrible moments slammed together at an insane pace - a phenomenon I have come to respect. My little nephews Jack and Davis turn 3 on June 4th with a Pirates and Princesses party. Auntie Tricia will attend (as a pirate princess perhaps) - sounds like a great start to year 13 - a Grand Slam don't you think?

7 comments:

Mary Ellen said...

Hi Tricia,
Thanks for your latest post and all the happenings......."small, big, wonderful, sad, remarkable."

That's good news about your health and the surgery on your skin graft. You are amazing.

I love the pictures of Marie & you in New York. It sounds like it was a fabulous time and a wonderful way to spend Mother's day!

You and Spiderman make a great pair.....both of you super heroes!!!

Lots of love,
Mary Ellen & Bob
xoxoxoxoxo

Sonia said...

Hi Tricia!

So glad to hear things are going well in your world! You sound so busy...getting out, travelling, working and hanging out with friends and family. Good for you, it's a good life :)

Sonia

Bonnie Westerman said...

Hi Tricia,

I read your blog today to catch up on your latest. You always write so well.

Happy 35th Birthday tomorrow. Have a blast.

Holly Gustafson said...

We are toasting life today with you! Happy birthday sister-cuz!

Love,
Holly etc.

Sonia said...

Happy Birthday Tricia!!!

Love Sonia

barb said...

Happy birthday dearest Tricia!! Cheers to you and to life as it is in all joys and in all struggles. 12 years since Tricia's tides started to change..that is a profound thought. I am so happy to know and to love you and overcome with emotion on this, your birthday. Love you, cous.

Barbara

Louise and David said...

Dear Tricia,
It has taken me quite a while to respond to this latest posting on Tricia's Tides. Your description of life as a series of contrasting moments "slammed" up against each other has given me a lot to think about.

Personal experience is the only teacher that could possibly have given you so much insight and wisdom at 35 years of age. The fact that you have remained so open and positive through all of life's fickleness is humbling for me at 66.

What hit me hardest was your news of a mother's sudden death in the week before her daughter was due to give birth to a second child. That young woman's sorrow will give way to a joy that will, in turn, deepen her sense of loss. At such times, the human spirit seems impossibly resilient to me.

Thank you, too, for telling us about your friend, Heather, and for providing us with a link to her amazing blog site. It is no wonder that Heather remained an inspiration to others right up to the day that her fight with cancer ended. Though it robbed her of everything else, including life itself, cancer was never able to destroy Heather's spirit. Perhaps that will be a consolation to her family and friends. I hope so.

Ryan and Tasha's blogs are also sensitive accounts of how life takes callously even while it is gives generously. Talyn's fourth birthday party brought fun and celebration face-to-face with his family's ongoing battle in times of uncertainty. Spiderman was not the only superhero present for that happy day's events! Clearly, Tricia, you live and move within a community of strong, courageous people.

In this latest posting, news of your own progress is most encouraging. The surgical release of scar tissue might be a metaphor for the new-found freedom of movement you are experiencing as the first anniversary of your transplant date approaches. Congratulations, you have come a long, hard way with stamina and grace! We hope the results of upcoming medical tests will simply verify improvements that are already evident in your health. We also look forward to hearing about a smooth, successful move into your new apartment sometime in June.

By the way, that photo of you and Marie celebrating Mother's Day is a real mother-daughter keepsake. In truth, you look more like the best of friends having a very good time together in NYC. I guess that's exactly the way it was, too!

It looks like June promises to have its share of high tides for you and for those you love, (including Jack and Davis who will soon be 3 years old). May your energy levels also keep rising so that you can continue to enjoy happy times, to celebrate milestones and to meet life's challenges head on.

Cheers! Lots of love,
Louise and David