The real meaning of Christmas

I can't believe it's almost Christmas. The past three weeks have been a whirlwind, filled with absolutely amazing and unbearably terrible moments. Life continues to surprise me.

Let's start with some good moments. The weekend of December 6th, Dad made an Antonini tradition - gnocchi - for Tasha, Ryan, Talyn, my brother, Dana, Jack and Davis. The little boys even had their own "kids table". It was a great visit with lots of pasta. The following day mom, dad and I were treated to a pre-Christmas Christmas dinner at Mary Ellen's, with Bob, Marty and Karen. Mary Ellen LOVES Christmas and her decorations are remarkable - her dinner is amazing as well...so is she!

I made it to Day +180 on December 9th and had bloodwork and a number of tests. Wednesday I had another bone marrow aspirate, and Friday the 12th I had my central line removed with only a few stitches remaining on my chest. Aside from a bit of a cold that week, it was a pretty healthy 6-month marker from transplant. It is still hard for me to believe that I feel as good as I do.

As I was leaving the hospital, I looked at my blackberry and noticed a number of text messages from Tasha and quickly I circled back into the hospital parkade. As many of you may have already read on Ryan's blog, he had 3 major seizures while waiting for his radiotherapy treatment at the hospital. When I met Tasha in emergency, Ryan was paralyzed on his right side, on oxygen, could not speak, and had some vision loss. A CT scan confirmed that there was swelling in his brain around the tumour, caused by the radiotherapy treatments, and that had caused the seizures. Check out Ryan and Tasha's blogs (see the links on the upper left hand side bar) for the full story.

I spent a lot of the next few days at the hospital and arranging for someone to look after Talyn. It amazed me to see the incredible improvement in Ryan each day that I saw him...getting back the ability to move his right side, speech improvements, sight, overall awareness. By Monday he was back to his wide-grinned self and I was really in awe. The physical roller coaster he experienced was matched by an emotional one, having to deal with the real fear that he would never see his wife and son again, and even after bouncing back considerably, realizing the possibility that the tumour could be beating him. Despite this, he was able to take it in and then move forward. He restarted radiotherapy treatments Thursday, well aware that he could repeat the horribleness he had just recovered from, but knowing treatment is his only chance.

Ryan's current radiotherapy treatments are not expected to get rid of the tumour, but hopefully have a positive affect on it. Following the radiotherapy, the doctors suggest only one other option - chemotherapy combined with a drug to make the chemotherapy more effective and precise. Unfortunately, that drug is still in clinical trial stage for brain cancer, and is not covered by Alberta Health - it will cost $4800 every 2 weeks for a period of 6 - 12 months. No one has $10,000 a month, and given Tasha and Ryan's scattered ability to work over the past few years while Tasha did surgery, radiation and chemo and Ryan did chemo as well, they certainly don't.

On the very day that Ryan had his seizure, a group of friends met to discuss how to help Ryan pay for the treatment, and since then it's been a flurry of media attention covering the story and some amazing response by people. I've been the "media rep" and have been able to experience first-had giving of an indescribable level.

In the middle of all of this, I was able to make it to the PwC Christmas Party and visit with coworkers and friends (wearing a dress without CVC tubes to tuck in!). The Survivor finale did not disappoint and watching it with my fellow Survivor Chicks was as entertaining as always. I've also managed to put a few things aside to prepare for my upcoming escape from the deep freezer weather on the 31st to Maui with mom and dad! Can't wait!

This past Sunday we had brunch with Dana and Brandon and Jack and Davis opened their gifts from "Nana, Papa and Auntie Tricia". It was quite exciting and they immediately had fun with their new sets of golf clubs - they have perfected their swing and even comment when they just barely miss the plastic holes "almost". We feel their names are destined for PGA greatness given the successes of Jack Nicklaus and Davis Love III. Of course, they also loved their new blankets as they need rest for the tour!

Right now I am excited for the arrival of Colleen, Allan, Grady and Joelle later tonight and a wonderful Christmas. Earlier tonight, I witnessed one of the purest form of giving I've ever seen (and remember I've received donations of bone marrow from by brother and a stranger)...a local business man in Calgary, a perfect stranger, saw the story in the paper and came to Tasha and Ryan's house to give them a cheque for $60,000 to cover Ryan's treatment for 6 months. While he says he's "blessed to have had success and is in a position to help" I pointed out to him that many people are in that position but do not take action like he did. He doesn't even get a tax receipt! He and his wife are undoubtedly some of the nicest, most genuine people I've every met and it truly has changed the way I feel about humankind in general. Talk about giving. Talk about Christmas. And I am alive and healthy enough to witness it. Many many miracles.

I wish all of you a Merry Christmas filled with good food, good health and good company, and thank you again for all of your continued support. For 2009 I wish you joy, hope, health and happiness.

Cheers to all!

Tricia