Heart, Feet and Moments

Good news - round 5 is in the blood.  Bad news - only had 2 of the 3 drugs in the protocol.  Seems my heart MRI showing decline, combined with increasing pain and skin deterioriation in my feet (possibly related to the peripheral neuropathy aka numbness from the drugs but not for certain) made my doctors decide to hold back carboplatin for this round.  I hate taking away of the weapons in this fight, but I suppose the risk of heart failure is not a measly contendor either.  The doctors says carbo is the least effective of the 3, so I'm trying to imagine that I still have a machine gun, high-powered sniper rifle, I just had to drop the handgun strapped to my back calf to make it over the next hill.

The medical theme for this round was definitely heart and feet - my low blood pressure and fast heart rate continued even after the fluid I got with round 4 chemo, and the cardio team didn't like it combined with my decline in the MRI.  So they suggested I get a blood pressure machine for home and monitor those.  Costo to the rescue for $60 you get a good quality one and there wasn't any improvement so they stopped the cardio med I was taking to help protect my heart altogether.  I ramped up water intake and by around day 12 the BP was a bit higher and pulse a bit lower.  Then Friday I started a new heart med that seems to be helping lower my pulse (haven't had a pulse below 100 since flesh-eating disease in 2006 so it's quite amazing) and my blood pressure is behaving the past two days just in time for round 5.  My feet have been getting worse with pain and redness in various spots - been trying all sorts of remedies including some good ideas from friends but that is a concern if the issues become permanent.  And finally I've noticed some vision changes so going to have that checked out - hard to say if it's the multitude of meds but also like to see so will get the specialist's viewpoint.  Kind of feel like I shoud sing my own version of "Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes" like "Eyes and Heart and Feet and Toes" but perhaps that's inspired by the cool rendition of the former song by Adam Levine impersonating Frank Sinatra when he was on Jimmy Fallon recently - seriously check it out - two other songs he does are pretty mind-blowing and funny.

In the life theme, I continued living pretty fully despite the complex themes above.  I managed to get to my Provincial Cancer Advisory council meetings at the end of week 2, which confirmed that one of the reasons I am still ticking is for the value I can add for generations in the future to make this path disappear or get smoother for them.  I added some value at PwC last week doing some more global project work. I also fit in several lunches, dinners and fun visits with friends, was happy to celebrate my roommate's engagement :) and enjoyed some amazing care packages, cards and flowers sent by friends from afar.  Even started some painting - I'm planning to resurrect one of my passions by creating some tangible positive outputs during this unexpected time.

Speaking of resurrection, Easter and its reminder of new beginnings was timely just before I headed to Tom Baker yesterday morning for bloodwork for round 5 - colouring eggs with the boys Friday, visiting Ryan's hospice (or the pad as he called it) with Tasha and Talyn to mark a surreal 5 years since the end of his human journey Saturday, and a delicious meal with Brandon and Jacqui's with everyone including Lucy Easter Sunday was a perfect use of my "best days" and a reminder that life and the moments now I can still enjoy, and everyone can enjoy despite whatever shape our challenges continue to come in, are spectacular and kind of the whole point.

So Happy Easter, enjoy more moments, and as I know (and am thankful for) you will continue sending me prayers/energy/thoughts - just visualize a bit of red while you do so - my heart and I would appreciate it;) Cheers