It's cold and snowy outside today...apparently warmer weather is coming in a few days, so the snow should melt soon!
I start chemo "day 1" again later this week. I continue to be feeling well, with mainly fatigue and stamina being my greatest challenges lately. Last week I had another CT of my chest - that, combined with pulmonary functions tests later this week, should give me a picture of what my lungs are doing. They feel pretty good to me, but I am anxious to see what the numbers look like, as I confidently told the PF technician in December that "I'll bet you those numbers improve by the next test"!
Physically, I am miles ahead of where I was only a few months ago. Mentally, I still struggle with the uncertainty of my short-term and longer term life, as well as adjusting to everyday life again, after leaving my life as an independent, happy, busy woman living in Manhattan.
Struggles aside, I've had a number of good days since my last post...I went for a few lunches and dinners with some good friends and coworkers who I hadn't seen for a while. One one lunch, a wise friend asked me if I had made a list of things I wanted to do, especially in this "limbo" period, where I am well enough to do some things but not healthy enough to return to work. The truth is, I've had an informal list ever since my diagnosis almost 10 years ago...it prompted me to turn to my acting again and it was certainly why I accepted the New York position. I haven't ever formalized the list, but now I am thinking I should. From experience, I know if I write something down it is far more likely that I will do it! I'm still working on it, but will share some of it when I am ready. What's on your life list?
Since that day at lunch, I've made a few plans. Some of these were in the works before, but it seemed that I moved into high gear! I had already planned to travel to Regina this coming weekend, to attend Great Aunt Marj's 90th birthday and see my Grandma Antonini and many others, with Mom, Colleen and Bob. In March, I am going to Grand Cayman for a few days with Dave and his parents, who I haven't seen since the day I went into ICU. That will also be my first visit to the Caribbean. In early April, Dad and I are going to fly to Las Vegas to sit in the 10th row of the Elton John's Red Piano concert (this is the one concert I've always wanted to see). Mid-April will be a return to my previous home, New York, to see all the people I never got to say goodbye to when I disappeared last July. Mom is accompanying me reluctantly (ha ha). Finally, at the end of April, my long-time childhood friend who is soon to be Dr. Shelley Boyd, will travel with me to South Beach, Florida. Neither Shelly nor I have been to Mexico or Florida and we have a lot of celebrating to catch up on while lounging by the pool.
I realize these trips seem a bit condensed in terms of timing, but all were based on different date demands and just happened to run into each other. So don't be concerned, as Tasha asked me "are you sure everything's alright?" after I told her the schedule. All will include a few "life firsts" and knock off a few things on my list. I will still do chemo the entire time, arranging the "day 1" days in between trips to get my IV chemo. I can do blood work from any of these places, as most are in the U.S. and Cayman was "approved" by the bone marrow clinic.
There are many more things on my list, many of which don't require travel! What's on your list?
Cheers
PS To any of the Antonini's who will be in Regina this weekend, I am going to Grandma's Sunday afternoon for a visit, so if you feel like popping in, I'd love to see you!
