Not sure where to begin. Ryan's last weeks, his passing and celebration now seem such a blur of incredibly terrible and wonderful moments. Just 4 weeks later, things seem a little blander now. I know he's still around - I still feel his energy in various places and moments and even yesterday at Talyn's 5th "Star Wars" birthday party, visiting with some of his close friends, we felt his smile on us. But I would have preferred one of his big hugs.
As most of you have made the trip over to Tasha and Ryan's blogs (links to the left) over the past while, you will know all about Ryan's passing April 4, 2010. You may even have come to feel like you knew him despite not having a live introduction. And quite possibly you will have been inspired by Ryan and his family, taking on immense challenge with smiles and gratitude. He might have left a little of his energy with you. That was certainly his hope - to leave the human world having simply but positively affected others. He no doubt succeeded.
His celebration of life on May 8th was a reflection of who he was. A guy who approached life with a smile, said what he meant and acted as he said. Colour was everywhere...Starbucks coffee served, laughter, smiles, stories shared of good memories from his close friends and family. Even a pink converse watermark behind the service program and Radiohead playing as you walked out. And of course, the remarks made by Talyn. I had just spoken and was to stay close in case Talyn couldn't speak after all. But he marched up to the front, pulled out the step stool, adjusted the microphone downward with a swift motion and began to talk - a little about the tumour and how his dad told funny jokes. Not a beat missed. Honest and funny, just like his dad. Ryan no doubt was grinning the whole time.
It's difficult to absorb everything that has occurred in the past few months but impossible to communicate. As many of you have heard me say, I feel like our lives are like canvases that receive splatters and drops of paint when we experience, engage and absorb life fully. I am thankful to Ryan for providing me with a whole new layer of texture, colour and shape. I am happy that he is at peace after such a long battle, but we all dearly miss and will continue to miss his spectacular paint. Love ya bro.
