The net postive - Round 4 door closed

Well the door has been closed.  Round 4 is officially in my veins and I hope to do the deadlock with round 5 and fill in the cracks with round 6 in three and six weeks.

Round 3 brought better muscle spasm/cramp management with a trade-off of feeling less like myself for the ugly charcoal days (Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun post Tues chemo) - still a better deal with less pain.  A much slower lightening of the days or a later "pop up" from the grey but week three at work was more tolerable than last round. This past final weekend was rather remarkable with a visit from Colleen and Joelle flying in from Vancouver (aunt and cousin for those who don't know them) including many visits, shopping, a visit to my drywalled under-construction condo, and much sharing of yummy food compliments of mom and even dad (best batch of gnocchi that Brandon and I can recall).  Uncle Bob and aunt Heather made a drive from Ft. McLeod to brunch with all, and Mom, Colleen and I even snuck in a few hours at the casino Saturday night to pretend we were on our annual Vegas trip which we will miss this year. I used a solid amount of hand-sanitizer, and the odds seemed to be with us and we had a moment where could imagined we were at the Palazzo we but the inability to do the quick trip to our suite upstairs and the pool in the morning snapped us back to reality.

So like life, the light of the ups helped dull the shadows of the downs.  And as I've always said, once you've been in the valley, the top of a mountain is breathtaking and remarkable.  While I certainly have days where it feels like everyone is heading on a cruise and I get to stay back and babysit cancer, and that I would prefer a more prairie-shaped life path,  I know the top of a rolling hill cannot compare to the view from a rugged rocky mountain after a hard climb.

At times this weekend, feeling very, very decent, with one of my four wigs (showed off all of them for my visitors) and as close to normal in months, it was realistically daunting to know the familiar storm or slide into the valley was going to come so soon.  It's like Calgary's weather lately - how could it possibly be 22 degrees and truly hot and then snow, blow icy winds and drop to a  -16 just a couple days later?  Even today, after a longer visit with the IV due to low blood pressure and high heart rate yesterday suggested I needed some serious hydration that made my veins cry a little, I feel tired and a bit worn but nothing compared to what I know later this week will feel like.

But for those upcoming charcoal days I am armed with my experience with the three cycles prior, down to notes on which dose of countering meds worked best on which days (almost could do a spreadsheet), as well as the predicted timing of my dark grey starting to lighten (approximately 1 pm on Sunday - more accurate than Calgary's weather forecasters), and complimentary nursing/chef/heating pad services of Marie, Lou and Lucy (featured below sunning herself in the 22 degree day sun) when I head there Thurs.  Supported by the "bubble" of incredible energy from so many supporters who span the globe - lifetime family and friends, co-workers and friends just briefly encountered on trips many years ago, I have no uncertainty and am so appreciative that the balance will once again net out on the positive side.