I thought I'd do a post - just had a nap so should have enough energy for a short post.
Between Wednesday and yesterday, mom and I were up to the Tom Baker 3 times in the basement (radiation). I had four treatments. Prep was done last week. Some of you were asking about what the treatment feels like, so I thought I'd share what I can tell you. What it feels like during the treatment is easier to describe than what how the treatment actually works, and it is again different than how I feel post-treatment. How it works would require a physicist, radio oncologist and a few very smart technicians. And none of us would understand it ;)
When they call my name, they lead me into a room where I lay down on a thin mental board. At the end of a board is a base that was formed for my head last week. I get my head positioned into the base, and then they put a warm blanket on me. Then comes my mask, also made last week. It's made of something that reminds me of silly string from back in the 90s. But is is hard - not soft. They tell me we're about to start and then clamp the mask on my face. It's pretty tight, but luckily I've never been a tiny bit claustrophobic. Then all the technicians and physicists leave.
I also have an orange ring on my stomach - like you'd play fetch with a dog with - to hold do my hands don't slide. The machine will shut off if you move too much, so for the next half hour I start my strategies to keep calm and forget I'm getting treatment. It involves breathing, visualizing - often I swim with turtles and boogeybord in Maui. There's also the music - I've asked for Jazz - I used to play Jazz piano some will know. And I know that there will be roughly 7-10 sounds in the half hour so it's another way to measure where I'm at. I've actually thought a lot about my summer years ago pre-cancer at Jazz Camp in Saskatchewan where as someone who never played Jazz got placed with this group of talented guys who already played in a band together. It's crazy how your mind helps you when you need it. So between the music and the breathing and the visualization, I get through the 1/2 hour. I keep my eyes closed, but I can also feel that my little metal board moves, sometimes it rocks a bit back and forth, I hear some dinging sometimes and on the first day the people were also calling out various numbers - the physics part I think - during some of it. And then with my eyes closed I also see green and orange light pass by, and hear various different fans or something. They did tell mom that next week she can watch if she likes. If she can handle looking at me with the mask clamped on my face I'd love to know if my little board is moving or not.
Once they remove the mask, I pull myself up, find mom in the waiting room an head home. On the first day I had to do 2 and after the first they asked if I wanted a break and I didn't really so we did they second immediately. The machine has never stopped and after the first day they said I was a rockstar ;)
So that's what it feel like during treatment. I've got 2 more next week Tuesday and Wednesday and I also see Dr. Voroni, the radio oncologist who I saw last week before we did the mask, on Tuesday before treatment. I don't know if I have to more beyond Wednesday or not. I'm letting the experts deal with it.
Post treatment I feel tired. Very tired. Kind of heavy. I also threw up yesterday afterward but luckily mom got me the bucket in time :) So I mainly eat, sleep, drink lots of water and repeat. I've been sleeping mostly at my condo as it's so close to TBCC but sometimes mom and I head to mom and dads for a change of scenery.
Energy running out, so will sign off. Maybe too much detail but I'm a visual person so now you can imagine me as much as you want while you send all your incredible energy. Thanks again - it's helped me get through the first 4 and I'm not at all concerned about doing more of it. Gotta get it done.
Enjoy the May long weekend everyone! Love Tricia
