The month of June

I realize it has been a while since I blogged.  I can only say that life has been so full, that either I have been living so much, or that I have been so tired from trying to live so fully, that I have not honestly had enough energy to write about it.  Which has to be a good thing, right?

Last night I decided to watch Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close and found some energy to blog.  Since I last posted, I have seen and experienced many things, as all of us have, and I am grateful for all of them.  But like most photos, recalling the moments that pass does not ever give justice to the intensity of those moments.  Sharing them is difficult as you may understand, from your experiences with wonderful times in life, as when you try to explain fantastic but simple things, often the shine that comes with each second, is somehow slightly dulled by attempting to describe it.  Even the pictures taken by the most sophisticated camera do not every capture how you felt when you snapped them.

In any case, to start with, I am healthy.  My biggest concern when I week after week realize that I have not blogged is that there are so many people out there checking my blog who are wondering how I am doing.  People who prayed, thought, sent energy, whatever mechanism they believe in, for me, toward me when 15 years ago I first started this incredible journey with uncertainty, 6 years ago when I had my third dance with the end of this human experience, and all the times in between when I needed something more than a treatment to help me through.  In context of my current occupation, you are the shareholders, the people who invested to make it happen.  As any good public company would, I feel an enormous sense of responsibility to report to you at a minimum, how your investment is doing.  Which is pretty darn good.

The first five months of 2012 have brought me many good things and taken me many places– an amazing time with Mom and Dad in Maui, heaven on earth, for the majority of January...February was mostly a bit too much work, as well as March, but then April took me to Las Vegas for a weekend of laughter and fun with Mom and Colleen on our annual Gunn Girls Getaway, and the following weekend experienced more than a dozen wonderful bands at Coachella music festival in Southern California with Tasha.  May is my busiest month at work and I so am happy to see it pass, and later in June I’ll get to see my cousin Mary on Broadway (yep, really!) in NYC and connect with a pile of old friends.  Yes, I travel now and then.  Technically, I can’t afford the travel costs I allow myself.  But I do it anyway.  It’s what I do, because I love it. No excuses.  And while travel always brings such great experiences, the laughing, talking, eating, drinking and playing with family and friends, regardless of the destination, continues to fill me up every day.

The first five months of 2012 have also been my most tired.  I seemed to feel more and more tired, and although there are many potential sources of my fatigue (anemia caused by the Gleevec medication I take daily to counter the scleroderma, which was caused by rejection to my last bone marrow transplant, having 3 bone marrow transplants, too much chemo, getting older and doing too much), another source evolved – low phosphate – which I have had for over a year and half, but which had become critically low in recent months.  A visit to an endricrinologist (one specialist I did not previously have on my extensive list) determined that my kidney is “wasting” phosphate for some reason, which can cause a number of other issues if it continues to succeed.  Luckily for me, the specialist figured out a plan and last week blood results indicated his plan is working.  And the beat goes on :)J

So now, in June 2012, I am doing well.  Yesterday I dropped in on Jack and Davis’ 6^th birthday party, which is entirely amazing in itself, and celebrated with Transformer cake and flying juice cups.   Spectacular, particularly, when I think Junes before this have included diagnosis (1997), admission for 2^nd transplant (2003), admission for 3^rd transplant (2008), and admission for pericarditis (2010). 

This week, on the anniversary of so many cancer-related events, I head to Edmonton, for my quarterly meetings of the Alberta Health Services Advisory Council – Cancer that I was appointed to last Fall, as well as the Core Committee of the Cancer Care Strategic Clinical Network, which I was nominated to in May.  It seems quite appropriate.

I am excited to play more golf this summer, have wine on a patio and laugh with friends.  I still plan to  see the Hunger Games after I read all 3 books and loved them, and will watch for Mary at the Tony’s  tonight(again, really?!).  I’m positive I’ll continue to be tired, but for good reason.  And that is my report to the investors.  Who made it all happen.  Hope you’re satisfied with your return ;)

Photos - Jack sporting the viking hat on his 6th birthday at Montana's, some of my birthday flowers and cards, Davis enjoying ice cream and being 6 and a viking simultaneously, Coachella by dusk, backstage at Coachella - Florence & the Machines equipment, , the boys "transformer" party with their friends, Oliver (my 2nd transplant donor)'s son Noah's birthday drawing for me.