Merry Christmas and Mele Kaliki Maka!

This year Christmas has really snuck up on me - more than any other year - and I'm not exactly why. I know that I have been busy the past few months - perhaps it is that while my activity has returned to close to normal levels, my energy always lags a few steps behind. Or maybe it's that I am getting old. Which is a great thing too. Whatever the reason, I cannot believe Santa comes tonight!

My only travel since last posting was up to Edmonton to get a shot of Dr. Aung's magic touch and see my cousin Amy (who is expecting! Yay!) - her talented husband Ryland had a major role in the Citadel Theatre's A Christmas Carol and it was fantastic (as was he, as always). I attended our PwC Holiday Party again, and had a lot of fun with coworkers and friends, even getting a little dancing in. Last weekend we baked Christmas cookies with Jack and Davis and watched some videos Santa had sent them. I also hosted the Survivor finale party with my SurvivorChicks Julie, Shannon and Laura. The rest of December has just sort of disappeared.

On the health front, I passed a milestone of one and a half years post-transplant #3 and did some bloodwork to celebrate! My basic results were normal, and the complex flow cytometry tests will take a few weeks to get results. I continue to feel well, with only my fatigue reminding me occasionally of what has transpired in the past decade. I've had a small road bump with my neck as some of the skin had been aggravated in the summer and it has been trying to rebuild skin since then. I saw my plastic surgeon last week and he confirmed a mild infection had resulted, so he's put me on some antibiotics and recommended special dressings to get it back up to par.

And while my health has been moving along strong these past 3 weeks, I've witnessed my longest childhood friend Shelley suddenly have to fight a rare and serious auto-immune disorder that put her in the hospital. Luckily a team of doctors were on top of things, and she is now starting the slow road to recovery, although having to learn the "pureed food" menu that I enjoyed a few years ago, as well as deal with significant pain. On Tuesday of this week, Tasha called me with upsetting news about Ryan's recent MRI - the tumour is on the move again and fast. You can check their blogs for the details - but the treatment he was on has been stopped and just last night they came up with alternate plans. It maddens me to have such amazing friends thrown these awful challenges.

Both these incidents have thrown a reality that I usually keep in the far background of my mind right up in my face - the fact that the life we lead each day can change in a heartbeat. With the doctors' guess as to how much time they would hope to give me with transplant #3 being 2-3 years, this reality is pretty vivid for me. And while 98% of the time I somehow can acknowledge this reality and give it a background role in of my life, the past few weeks it has crept into the spotlight a few times.

But after the reality had it's "10 seconds of fame", I put it back in its place, and continue to focus on the real start of the show - the life we have for now. However long it's here. So today I will help Tasha download some Singstar songs, finish off my Christmas shopping (just stocking stuffers!) and Mom, Dad and I will head to a Christmas Eve celebration with Ryan, Tasha, Talyn and Tasha's family from Regina tonight. Games, food and good company. Tomorrow we'll see how Jack and Davis celebrate Christmas and what Santa has brought them with Christmas dinner with my brother, Dana, the boys and some of Dana's family from Canora, Saskatchewan.

And 2 weeks from Saturday Mom, Dad and I will return to our island friend Maui for a couple weeks in paradise. I told my plastic surgeon my neck had to be healed by the day we leave as I'll be boogey-boarding one way or another.

I hope you all have an incredible holiday season - squeeze every last drop of simple joy, laughter and Christmas Orange juice that you can. Express your gratitude to each other and for the life you lead today. Toast Life with some eggnog. Thank you for your continued support and love.

Merry Christmas!

Pumpkins, Paint and Pollok

12 years ago last Friday I had my first transplant from my big brother. In some ways it seems like 2 years ago and in some 20 years ago. It's that surreal thing called time -something that by its very nature should be consistent and comparable, but in reality confuses the mind entirely with its ability to make one minute seem 300 times longer than the next. When I was about 10 years old, I wrote out my own little quote in calligraphy and gave it to my Grandma Gunn for her fridge - "Time is not a clock, but a camera which takes memories".

The past month was a flash. I enjoyed Halloween weekend in Vancouver and managed a few really good visits with Grandma Gunn. She still cannot say a word, but was far more responsive and make a huge effort to try to talk, which is significantly better than my last visit with her. I am thankful for those visits and hope for more days like that for her. In between visits, we managed to do a little pumpkin carving - Grady (armed and dangerous), Joelle (pumpkin perfectionsist), Dad (carved one that looked like him!) and I created some cool Jack O Lanterns for the front steps.

November started in NYC with Tasha, in a packed four-day tour of the city and Tasha's first visit. We took in everything we could in the short time - good food, wine, visiting my old neighbourhood, shopping, celebrity sightings (Tasha spotted Alec Baldwin on two separate occasions!?), theatre, sightseeing and the occasional rest period. Tasha immediately discovered the neverending opportunity of New York and understood why I loved it so much. We also realized that although we have been best friends for a long time and have taken several road trips together, we actually have never flown together. It was long overdue and likely not our last trip ;)

Not sure where the rest of the month has gone. Work continues to be busier, with my hours gradually increasing as planned, and my client work bringing me back into some familiar territory again. I continue to enjoy my condo and even managed to conquer my fear of hanging things on walls (seriously, needles are nothing - nails in walls make me hyperventilate) and put up some metal wall art. Visits with friends and family fill the non-work days and weekends quite fully. Of course, Jack and Davis continue to provide joy to me everytime I see them - they are growing up so fast now.

In the past few months, I have been sharing my observation that the human experience we are all having is really like the paintings of one of my favourite artists. Every day, through simple interaction with others, through interesting experiences we have because we made a choice to engage the day, we are left with splatters, drips and dabs of different coloured paint on our canvasses. Some people and experiences lay a thick, broad brush stroke and some just a tiny drop, but all are important to the final picture. By the time the masterpiece is complete, there are layers and textures and the details of all of the individual marks are often blurred, and you can't usually explain in words what is so compelling and wonderful about the final work. When Tasha and were in NYC we visited MOMA (the Museum of Modern Art) and walked to a room with a few Jackson Pollok pieces. I smiled and told her "see, that's what I mean - that's what I want to end up looking like!".

So thanks for the paint - continue to throw it and catch it for your own canvas.

NYC Blur NYC

October began the way it should...in NYC. Mom and I travelled again to Manhattan and enjoyed a number of days visiting friends, eating well and enjoying 2 incredible plays on Broadway. We even were able to meet up with one of Mom's best friends since childhood as her and her husband were there celebrating her birthday. Mom was excited to take Peggy to Elaine's and be able to show her the place we always talk about.

The night before we left, we attended the Sloan Kettering Celebration for transplant survivors - quite an event - a live band, hors d'ourves, drinks - and hundreds of people that were either survivors or families of survivors...it was difficult to tell who was who as all looked healthy. We were able to catch up with Dr. Young, my doctor while I lived in NYC, and he introduced me to a couple of the other doctors involved at MSKCC - one was a Nobel prize winner for his research and he was interested in my story...apparently I am still the only 3rd transplant survivor they're aware of. A lot of interesting information, people and energy - celebrating survival - the survivors as well as those that helped them survive. I think I'll make it an annual event.

The rest of October has been a blur of activity - a quick visit from Ryland & Amy, Thanksgiving, ladies Poker night, dinner with friends and a Halloween party (did you ever think you'd see a pink wig on me?) Jack and Davis discovered "jelly" that goes with turkey, a much better idea than "cranberries" and think that for sleepovers "Papa's room is SO awesome" (it's also Nana's room but Dad seems to get the official title). Last week I was involved in a couple of successful charity auctions - Tasha's Rethink Romp event for Rethink Breast Cancer was a huge success and the next day my brother stepped in as auctioneer for PwC's United Way auction, also raising a lot of funds for good organizations. This week I spoke to a group of people who are considering joining the Team In Training program with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society about the benefits of cancer research. Work has continued to ramp up lately too....I'm back managing clients - all Not-for-profit organizations, which is a great fit for me. This has added a nice twist to my other roles that I still have in the office. Life is busy. Life is good.

Healthwise I've been fighting a cold since I returned from NYC...I hate to admit that travelling often does that to me...and generally I have been a bit more tired these days. Likely due to the previous paragraph, I know, but I suppose I have to be realistic that my fatigue catches up to me and is more significant than the average person my age. I am doing so incredibly well given all my body has endured, that I often forget some of the lasting effects this roller coaster has had on my body. I went to a yoga class at my new gym a couple weeks ago and was reminded of that - I knew I wouldn't be the star of the class, but very quickly realized I hardly could participate. The recently increased numbness in my feet wouldn't allow me to do any balance pose or move to Downward Dog and then when everyone "hopped" out of it I couldn't do that either. Stretching backward was impossible with the absence of any neck muscles from the surgery I had, and my tendons seem to have gone back to the tightness level of when I had rejection of them post transplant #1, so I couldn't even get into the supposed-to-be relaxing "child's pose". It was a bit of an emotional hit. And to make things worse, I had accidentally placed my mat at the front of the class thinking it was the back!

This week I slipped into yoga class again (in the back of the room!), and did whatever I could, and accepted that I would just have to keep coming and eventually I'd be able to do more. I started getting more regular acupuncture on my feet to hopefully improve that issue, as well as doing some exercises to release the tendon tension. But in the end, if the only place you can tell I've had some health issues is in the yoga classroom, I guess I'm doing pretty well...And later today I'll be further reminded of how well I am doing and how much life I am living, with tendon tightness and feet neuropathy being tiny flaws in an otherwise perfect scenario...I'm flying to Vancouver to see my grandma Gunn this weekend. Her challenges are like Mt Everest to me. I'm back in the Foothills. I'll likely also get to use my Halloween costume again and go trick-or-treating with my cousins tomorrow. Don't worry, I don't have my own candy bag!

So October has been another full and delicious month and I'll be starting November off in the same way October did - in NYC. I know, I know, it's only been a few weeks since I returned, but Tasha and I cancelled our NYC trip April 2008 because I had to have another transplant. And since then her world has been so busy with her own treatments and Ryan's remarkable but epic brain tumour journey that you may have been keeping up on. She told me in September that early November would be the best time to go, and with all the uncertainties in all of our lives, how could we not do it?

Crave Cupcakes and Compassion

September has been an unexpected extension of summer with warm weather and lots of activity. I successfully completed my 8-minute sprint for Diabetes and definitely surpassed my expectations for distance cycled! Thanks to all of my supporters. I had a great team of 4 guys from PwC among a larger PwC team of 25 and we all had a wonderful time over the lunch hour. Two of the partners have children with diabetes and while they sprinted with passion they were so appreciative of the team effort towards supporting research for the disease.


That weekend Mom, Dad and I took the boys for the day and ventured into a CornMaze just east of Calgary - Davis loved following Papa and deciding which way to go and Jack loved crumbling the dry corn leaves all the way. It was a windy day and this picture demonstrates how my hair took on the look of the corn! The CornMaze also had some other entertainment and Jack and Davis discovered how perfect they are for the teeter-totter - with an equal weighted-partner it is way more fun and it was hard to convince them to eventually leave.


My life is filled with so many normal joys right now, it is almost hard to comprehend the roller coaster life of the past 12 years. I was reminded of that in detail as I prepared to speak to a group of nursing students at Mount Royal University last week. Having spoken a number of times to various groups, I even have a Powerpoint presentation that helps cover my story, as well as what I have learned and in this case, my observations on the range of nursing care I have received. Going through the slides, I was forced to realize what is in fact a very long, quite remarkable story and I am so unbelievable grateful to be well enough to present it to potential nurses. In the question period, it seemed a bit surreal to answer some of the less technical questions - how did you survive? how did your family cope? I could only smile and say "that's a very good question" and consider that there is no logical or scientific explanation really, but I suppose it is the combination of my faith, my family, my friends, my doctors, my nurses and the healing energy of hundreds of people sending me love. It's really a mystery called life.


Of course, one of the reasons I am here is my brother, my first and third bone marrow donor and my neverending protector. We celebrated his  birthday early (Oct 4th) this year, and since we hadn't been able to be all together for Dad's birthday in late August, we celebrated his too. The boys LOVE birthdays and needed a candle to blow out as well. Crave cupcakes are a delight for Jack and Davis, as they generally like to lick off the icing first, and with the amount of icing on a Crave cupcake, that can take a while!


The day before our birthday celebration, Mom, Dad, Tasha, Talyn and my aunt Mary Ellen joined me to walk at Light the Night, a walk at dusk along the river celebrating blood cancer survivors and honouring those who lost the fight. It was a last minute decision to walk and we cut it short when a crazy storm blew in as the walk started, but did get in a few KM of celebration. When I was on the board of LLS, the first LTN was just over a hundred people raising just over $100K, and this year it raised over $500K. It is satisfying to see its continued growth.

Yesterday Tasha, Ryan, Tasha's brother Chad and I paid a visit to his holiness the Dalai Lama while he visited Calgary. A simple monk, he calls himself, and really it did feel like he was having a little chat with you despite the over 15,000 people there to visit him. His message of peace, through living compassionately every day, was simple and calming, and he confirmed for me that simply engaging the world, one person at a time, can impact the world on a greater level. It is from this level that the greater problems can be solved.

And if that isn't enough good energy, I am heading to the airport shortly with Mom to see my old friend NYC. While we're there, Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center is hosting a "Celebration" for their stem-cell survivors, and I'm invited. I'm excited to be able to attend, in full health, to showcase the efforts of all the doctors who made the trial happen. I think I'll be the only 3rd transplant survivor, and I plan to walk in looking nothing like a cancer patient. Cheers.

Live Fully and Ride a Bike

Well Vegas was fabulous...22 women ...shopping, dancing, gambling, wine...amounts of previous items not disclosed...and a lot of laughing. I returned to work last Tuesday and put in a few too many hours. The "full" life got the best of me and I developed an infection with fevers and visited my familiar Unit 57 on Monday morning to get examined, tested and assessed. The medications are working, I feel 5 times better than the past weekend, and I think by tomorrow I'll be back to normal. And while I know many of you are thinking "you have to watch it" (and I do), it is just too tempting to resist living fully. Every once and I while I get a little zap to remember not to overdo it. At least not to overdo it all the time!

I expect that by next Friday, I will feeling strong enought to ride a bike. A stationery bike in fact. I'm on a team from PwC that will ride stationery bikes outside by the Bow River downtown next Friday. The Ride for Diabetes Research raises funds for diabetes research, and with the number of my relatives affected by the disease, I'm more than happy to hop on a bike to help accelerate research developments. I am living proof of the impact medical research has.

If you interested in sponsoring me, you can check out my fundraising page - any $ donation is very much appreciated and I promise not to fall off the bike!

http://jdrfca.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&eventID=719&participantID=27132

Cheers and live fully,

Tricia

Good night and Good summer!

My last post was the day before Mom's birthday and today is Dad's birthday - he and I just celebrated his birthday with Vietnamese Food and a Wii marathon...the summer has evaporated in between! The past 2 months have been full...of all kinds of normal life things. Visits, work, parties, short trips, and even a few moments of just relaxing. Normal life. Ah. It's been some time since I had a normal summer. I like it.

Mom's birthday stretched for the first week of July...after Colleen's surprise visit and Stampeding with Bob, Colleen and Dad and I, Mom also blew out the candles with her favourite little boys. We ran in to them at Stampede and they were the coolest cowboys I've ever met (Davis left, Jack right) They even took on the rides and its clear they're going to love driving some day.

July zoomed on with my usual quick trip to Edmonton for a Dr. Aung tune-up and as usual a wonderful visit with Amy and Ryland - we even took in Shakespeare in the Park on a warm summer night. My almost thirteen-year old cousin Grady landed in Calgary for a week and he and I took in Gasoline Alley at Heritage Park as well as some crazy laser tag and mini-golf before he headed South to visit uncle Bob in Fort MacLeod. I can hardly believe he'll turn 13 in 2 days.

Early August I travelled to Regina for a surprise 40th anniversary party for my Uncle Tony and Aunt Carol...lots of catching up with Antonini's which is always a boost of energy. They were so shocked and had such a good time...their "first dance" of the evening while my Uncle Marty played piano in the park seemed similar to any newlywed. Amazing stuff for 40 years. After the party I met up with Tasha and enjoyed some time with her family at Pelican Point on Last Mountain Lake: a few days of humidity, peace, relaxation, kayaking and the occasional ice cream. No pictures. Too relaxed to remember to take them. While I was in Regina I also fit in a couple of visits including one at my great Aunt Marj's new place of residence. I loved it so much I almost thought I'd get on the waiting list.

The rest of August has absolutely disappeared. I've not even had a lot of time to enjoy my new condo yet (pictured right). And apart from getting re immunized for the 4th time (me and all the crying babies) I haven't had to visit the hospital. I've been a bit more tired these days...perhaps because I've been working, playing and living a lot! A bit surreal actually. Tomorrow morning I leave for Vegas for 4 days of craziness with 22 fun women! It's a party to celebrate 2 of them turning "Fabulous" and I can't wait. Gotta get some sleep though, so good night and good summer!

June 20ths

I am sitting on my new sofa in my new condo, blogging on my new wireless network serviced by my new wireless router. New, new, new! I finally got possession of my place June 16th and spent that week gradually moving in and accepting deliveries of furniture. The Antonini moving group (mom, dad, my brother and I) were pretty exhausted by the end of it all. Dad's friend Wade generously donated his truck for us to transport the large items (mattress, boxspring and BBQ), and the rest made it by way of the Jeep Liberty, Jeep Commander, and Nissan Xtrail. Dad and I also tested our logic skills when assembling my new bed and the BBQ I won last year in the Home Lottery. You start to hate that guy "Allen" who invented the Allen wrench after too many assemblies!

While it took a few days to get used to living alone again, with no roommates to talk to and no Daisy greeting me in the morning, it's quite surreal being in this place now. I really love the space and while starting from scratch again (not even a fork!) has been expensive, it's really been refreshing to create everything. My patio even has furniture on it now. The location is awesome - every time I drive the 10 minutes to work I smile and say "unbelievable". My first night that I slept here was June 20th... a year ago June 20th I was in the hospital and had just had a CT scan to confirm I had severe typhilitis post transplant #3, and I was waiting to hear if the doctors were going to need to do a very risky surgery to deal with the inflamed small and large intestine. If someone had of told me "don't worry, a year from now, you'll be sitting in your new condo, be back at work, and feeling better than ever" I probably would have screamed at them. I guess you just never know what can happen in a year, or twelve. 12 years ago June 20th was the day I played golf and ended up in the hospital with leukemia.

Speaking of health, the week before I moved in, I had all my one-year post transplant tests (add another hole in my back-bone) and so far so good. Now, remarkably I don't have to see Dr. Brown for 6 months and only need bloodwork in 3 months time. I've had a cold for just over a week now, but it's just a cold and otherwise I continue to feel great.

Lots of action packed into this past month before, during and since the move. The boys turned 3 with a fantastic pirate and princess party...they are really little boys now and the babies are gone. "Wanna play golf?" and "Hey guys" are repeated phrases now - they are so funny pretending and discovering and commentating the entire time. Certainly one of the best benefits from my NYC life being interrupted 3 years ago has been getting to know those little guys every week.

Speaking of birthdays, Tasha finally caught up to me in age after a long three week period of being reminded that I was older than her...we celebrated her birthday with a barbecue and even dragged the entire guestlist at her party into a group Sing Star competition. The birthday girl herself won the challenge, after a final sing-down against her husband!

I've even been golfing this month. I joined a women's league that a bunch of girls at work joined, and have golfed 9 holes after work about 3 times. Lessons were included in the league membership, so I've made it to 3 of those as well. My first one was the evening after my bone marrow biopsy - Dad had to drive me as I had sedation for the biopsy - I was extra "relaxed" and my swing and results were pretty good! It's been pretty wonderful to be able to get out and play on some beautiful days.

I'm looking forward to enjoying the summer in Calgary with a few plans here and there for some weekends away. Last night mom, dad and I had plans to go to dinner for mom's birthday - I secretly picked up Colleen from the airport and took her to the restaurant! She was definitely surprised and excited. We're heading to the Stampede grounds shortly for some rides and some fun while Colleen is in town for the weekend.

Who knows what the next June 20th will bring. For now, I'm just going to enjoy the summer on my new patio. Happy summer!

Celebrations

There has been a lot of celebrating lately. And a lot of cake. It almost seems like my birthday has lasted several weeks. It started May 18th when my Survivor Powerchicks (TV show, not cancer) surprised me and another birthday girl Laura at our season finale dinner event – they had a cake with our faces on it, balloons, party hats and gifts! And while it sounds like a kids party, they are actually adults – just fun ones.

A couple of days later I attended the funeral for my friend’s mother, which included a beautiful celebration of her very full life. And less than a week later, she welcomed a baby girl into the world, and I’m sure her grandmother watches Morgan Elizabeth with pride.

My actual birthday was a whirlwind day, just the way I like it. Tasha met me for a smoothie on the Plus 15 during a busy workday, and after work I had a quick dinner (including Crave cupcakes) with my uncle Bob, family friend Marilyn, mom, dad, my brother, Dana, Jack and Davis before heading to the airport for a flight to Vancouver for the weekend! Mom, Bob and I spent a few sunny days with my Grandma Gunn for her birthday (she blew out a candle on a cupcake) and did some excellent visiting with Colleen, Allan, Grady, Joelle and Margot, in between baseball and ball-hockey games!

Last Monday afternoon I met a strong and inspiring soul – a 22-year old beautiful young woman fighting a rare type of small cell carcinoma with courage and determination. I was fortunate to spend the afternoon with her and her mom, talking about anti-nausea meds, the best wig places in Calgary, and how the world changes after diagnosis. Things most 22-year olds thankfully don’t normally talk about. I continue to be amazed by the many moments spent with so many incredible people, and each time learning a little more. Each time having a little more paint left on my canvas.

A year ago I bought a wine tasting for 12 people at a charity event, but couldn't drink wine until last month! So this past Thursday myself and a dozen ladies that I have worked with in the past, both from PwC and the Leukemia Society, as well as Dana, Mom, and Tasha, tasted 5 different wines at 100 wines and had a wonderful dinner after – it was a real gift to see all of them together and share good tastes.

Last Saturday the birthday celebrations continued when Tasha treated me to an amazing and fun session with a professional makeup artist. I learned a lot of techniques and we both ended up looking pretty “handsome” as Talyn described us. We finished the night with dinner with another fantastic birthday girl Lori! I sometimes wonder where I would be if I hadn’t met Tasha, both on the really good days and on the really bad ones. And then I stop wondering because it’s just too scary. And by the way, she is a total brat about making sure everyone knows that she is THREE weeks younger than me. Thank God it’s not three months!

The birthday celebrations will only continue when my little nephews turn (gasp!) 3 this Thursday. They are so interesting now, with everything they observe, commenting so honestly about what they see or feel, that I can only laugh when I see them. I can’t wait for their Pirates & Princesses party Sunday.

Oh yeah – quick report on health. It’s good.

Moments Slammed Together

Many things have happened since my last post....small, big, wonderful, sad, remarkable. I've put off blogging because I find it difficult to group them together - to not disrespect the sad by lining up the good beside them, but not undercelebrate the wonderful because of the sad. I suppose this awkwardness of writing about these moments defines life itself - a series of moments wonderful and sad, slammed up against each other with not even a minute to grasp air and breathe let alone decide whether to cry or laugh.

My 1 year transplant date June 12th is fast approaching. I'll have another bone marrow aspirate as well as a number of other tests that I had prior to transplant as a measure of change. Dr. Brown had some good news for me when I saw him the week before last. Once the June 12th date has passed, I can stretch my next visit with him to 6 months, as long as there's no sign of Graft-versus-host-disease (GVHD). The plural form of "month" is something I haven't heard in a long time when it comes to my health and it is refreshing.

2 weeks ago tonight a true fighter passed away - my friend Heather, who I had first met in Austin, Texas with the Cancervive event in 2007. At that time she had breast cancer, and she and I met for coffee every once and a while while we did treatment, and took yoga together as 30-something professional women taking a detour to fight cancer. When her cancer moved to the brain, she never gave up, her attitude was always an inspiration to me. Even in her last weeks she managed to smile. She even kept blogging... http://www.onesimplegirl.wordpress.com/

My dad came up with a great idea for my mom for Mother's Day: brunch at her favourite brunch spot. Oh yeah, that's Balthazar, in NYC. He gave her a week and a half notice, and I of course agreed to accompany her (twist my rubber arm) for 4 days in my old island of Manhattan. We caught up with a few friends, took in a play, ate good food and did a "wine crawl" at some high-end hotel lobby bars in addition to brunch. I am pretty lucky to have an amazing friend who just happens to be my mother.

Even my NYC friends who have never met Tasha and Ryan asked about how they are doing, as do all of you. If you click on their blog links to the left, you can get a better picture (literally) of the latest turns in their roller coaster ride. The reduction in Ryan's tumour is nothing short of miraculous, and my only complaint is that Tasha has to even be hassled with any uncertainty over her health in the same morning as Ryan's incredible news. In a pure slam, a day later Talyn's 4th birthday party rocked the superhero world that even included a celebrity sighting as (a pretty buff) Spiderman made an appearance!

While I've managed pretty well going back to work these past couple of months, I realize my energy needs a little attention. I took advantage of a chance to boost my energy by attending Dr. Aung's Qi Gong workshop at the beginning of May. It was wonderful to connect with some very special people, take in Dr. Aung's healing as well as sharpen my Qi Gong skills.

As some of you know, I have a skin graft on my neck and chest left from the flesh-eating disease surgery in 2006. This past Tuesday my plastic surgeon did some minor surgery to "release" some of the skin graft, where it was pulling or restricting my range of motion. It took about an hour and I talked with the surgeon while he worked, and drove home afterward! Other than some slight discomfort, it went pretty smoothly. I even was able to drive up to Edmonton the next day and get a "tune up" from Dr. Aung, have a wonderful dinner with Amy and Ryland, visit an old childhood friend, and be back at work today.

On the drive back from Edmonton, I checked messages and became aware that a good friend who is expecting her 2nd child next week found out her mother passed away suddenly yesterday morning. She was a vibrant woman, wife, mother and grandmother and it is incredible to imagine she is gone. My prayers are with her family.

May 21st I turn 35 - 12 years older than the age I was when Tricia's Tides began to turn. It's been 12 years of wonderful and horrible moments slammed together at an insane pace - a phenomenon I have come to respect. My little nephews Jack and Davis turn 3 on June 4th with a Pirates and Princesses party. Auntie Tricia will attend (as a pirate princess perhaps) - sounds like a great start to year 13 - a Grand Slam don't you think?

Easter fun and the Getaway

It's amazing how fast April has gone. I guess life flies by when you're having fun.

Work continues to go well and I am enjoying being able to contribute to the office again.

In early April, I celebrated life with the GGG - the Gunn Girls Getaway, which was a fun-filled trip to Las Vegas with Mom, Colleen, Ellen and Amy (various Gunn girls). We had fantastic accommodations at the Encore and shopped, dined and took in shows over the 3 days, as well as a lot of visiting and laughing. Having just taken my last dose of anti-rejection medicine before leaving, I was even able to enjoy a glass of wine (or two - it was Vegas after all!). The celebration is likely to be repeated annually from now on!

We arrived back in Calgary in time for Easter Sunday and had fun decorating cupcakes with Spring-coloured icing with Jack and Davis (their parents helped eat the icing)...the boys are really getting grown up now and love hanging with Papa as well as watching "Monsters" when they visit. It's hard to imagine they'll be 3 in June.
Health wise things continue to be good. Last week I had a small bump to get over after influenza A gave me high fevers and a cough, but this week I am feeling much better, and the clinic's concoctions seem to be addressing the issue. It seems this new immune system is able to fight infections, so that's good to know.

With the Flames in the playoffs and the hope of no-snow season coming, I am feeling pretty optimistic. I move in to my new condo June 1st, so I am also doing a little planning for that. Overall, life's pretty sweet right now.

Spring has Sprung

The warm weather of the past week, arriving promptly for the first day of Spring, has given me another boost of energy...timely for all the great things I have been up to. Living life continues to be interesting and eventful and I am so grateful.

The week before last I worked 3 half days before I drove up the QE2 to Edmonton for another tune up by Dr. Aung - he continues to be very pleased with my continued improvement and even told me he was so proud of me! In between his treatments I was delighted to attend the Citadel Theatre's Julius Caesar with my cousin Amy to watch her talented husband Ryland perform as Octavius. I was fully recharged by the time I drove back the next afternoon.

The following day I hopped on a plane to make a quick but wonderful weekend trip to Houston, Texas to witness one of the most incredible performances I have ever seen, and visit a cousin of mine that has inspired me over the years. Martin took a courageous leap when he auditioned for the Houston Symphony Chorus last year, and much to his surprise (not mine), he was accepted as a tenor in one of the most prestigious choral groups in the U.S. On Saturday March 14th, they performed an amazing piece with a limited accompaniment by the Houston Symphony - Bruckner's Mass in E Minor - at Jones Hall and I was lucky enough to be there, next to my aunt Mary Ellen. I can only describe the performance as an unforgettable experience beyond musical. To say that I am proud that my cousin was one of the voices that created this experience is an understatement.

Outside of the Saturday evening performance (pictured with Martin, Mary Ellen and Jeffery) I managed to pack in some other fun stuff despite some unlikely cold and rainy weather in "sunny" Houston! Dinner at Reef with Martin Friday was exceptional for both food and conversation. Viewing various waterlife (catfish and a real Finding Nemo scene) was fun at the Houston Aquarium Saturday. Sunday Mary Ellen treated me to a glorious lunch at a funky restaurant (Texas sized French Toast and berries were only 2 of the 4 courses) before we took in some amazing art at the Museum of Fine Arts. I was in town for less than 48 hours but it was full of great moments. Reconnecting with Martin and meeting Jeffery, along with spending time with Mary Ellen really made me feel even more fortunate for the family I have.

Since returning Sunday night from Houston, I've worked another 3 half-days at work, done some volunteering with new leukemia patients, played make-believe with Davis and Jack, and lunched with Tasha.

Dr. Brown, my primary bone marrow transplant doctor for over eleven years, emailed me this week...not with any information about my health, but to let me know that he extending his efforts against cancer by riding in the Ride to Conquer Cancer in June this year. Chris (as he signs his emails) worked tirelessly to move my application forward in 2007-2008 to obtain approval from Health Canada, and is certainly part of the reason I am alive today. He's also a really great guy. If you would like to support him on his trek and the Alberta Cancer Foundation - visit his site (which shows a picture of him riding with Lance Armstrong) for details. http://www.conquercancer.ca/site/TR/Events/Alberta2009?px=1747545&pg=personal&fr_id=1282

I can almost hear the snow melting...aaahh.

Day 266 and not counting

Well it's official. I'm back at work and a homeowner, and have nearly reached Day +270, another significant mark on the clinical trial calendar.

Life last week was pretty sweet. Dinners, coffees and lunches with friends, painting underwater sealife for the walls of a boy named JJ, and looking at condos.

Last weekend Davis and Jack spent Saturday with us and stayed overnight, so we decided to make a batch of cookies as part of the fun - we had aprons, and I had a chef hat but quickly realized that we needed to create a couple of mini-chef hats from paper towel and elastics! Papa helped mix and Nana made sure we didn't burn the place down. I forgot how much fun chocolate chips, or "treats" as Jack calls them, can be. Later on, the Backyardigans "2 Muskateers" video prompted two Spiderman-PJ-clad muskateers to show off their "ha" moves. I even had to create a couple of paper and scotch tape swords to finish off the scene. Sugar, chocolate chips, paper towel, elastics, paper and scotch tape. Imagination is an incredible gift.

This week I finalized the purchase of a new 2 bedroom condo in Marda Loop...I take possession in June, and that will mark another giant step toward recovering my independence. I'm pretty excited - the location is an interesting area of the city, closer to downtown, close to Tasha and Ryan, yet still has great access to head south to see mom and dad and the boys (as well as their parents!). I can tell you Dr. Brown had a sly grin on his face when I told him the news this week while at my monthly clinic appointment...he thought the docs at Sloane Kettering would sure enjoy hearing that news. Not even at Day +270 post-transplant #3, back to work and on my own. Beyond everyone's expectations. Including mine!

It was definitely surreal Monday when I returned to the 31st floor of Petro Canada Centre East, the reception for PricewaterhouseCoopers Calgary. While lots of faces have changed, many have not, and it seemed familiar while at the same time a distant memory revisited. Very wonderful, however you look at it. This week I walked in the Plus 15 level of downtown amongst hundreds of people and there was no sign of leukemia anywhere. It was perfectly normal and remarkable at the same time - busy and alive, people moving quickly from one place to another destination, talking, laughing, quite likely complaining - not exciting, not dramatic. But lovely.

Tomorrows

Life continues to surprise me. A year ago, I had uncertainty about pretty much everything...the clinical trial third transplant had not been approved yet, I didn't how much longer my remission would last, I didn't know if I would ever return to a "normal" life living on my own, working and thinking about - non-cancer things.

A year later, I am less than two weeks away from starting back to work part-time, I feel better physically than I have in 4 years, and have even been shopping for a new place to live! Mom and Dad have really been incredible roommates, but getting my own spot is another step towards the life I had.

The past few weeks have evaporated, filled with "living life" activities, and only a few "fighting to live life" activities. Aside from regular bloodwork and a few appointments at the hospital, my days have been filled with the good stuff...lunches and coffee with friends, painting acrylic on canvas, and shopping for condos. I've felt almost a strange deja vu feeling lately, as I seem to recognize pieces of my previous life. It's a fantastic strange feeling and I am so grateful to experience it.

In the spirit of optimism, I even saw the musical Annie the other night with Tasha. My grandma Gunn, living proof that a positive attitude can help you survive even the most testing situations, gave me tickets for Christmas. When I was growing up on McGill Place in Regina, I set out to direct Annie, casting Kyra Wacker next door as Annie, Trevor Holowka from across the street as Daddy Warbucks, and Karen Milliken as Miss Farrell. On regular schooldays, I (as Pepper) improved Annie scenes with my cousins Holly and Heather (Annie and Molly respectively). I never realized until watching the musical the other night just how much Annie's story related to my own...the hope for tomorrow and maybe what may come has been my mode of operation for the past few years! The red curls in her hair are definitely where we differ...:)

I continue to cherish today, but I am looking forward to the tomorrows of the coming weeks and continuing to spend less time fighting to live and instead just live...

Maui Maui

It seems a long time ago that I last blogged...so much has happened and it's already almost the end of the first month of 2009!

Christmas was fabulous with Colleen, Allan, Grady and Joelle sharing the holidays with us.

We had lots of fun eating, playing Wii and dominoes, and doing puzzles. Boxing Day we drove to Ft. MacLeod and spent the afternoon with Bob and his family, so there was lots of action. It really was wonderful to have them to celebrate with.

New Year's Eve we set out for Maui...on our Aeroplan Miles tickets, we got first class seats and the plane from Vancouver to Maui was a brand new one, with "pods" as seats that were basically like small spaceships of our own! With massaging adjustable seats that turned into beds, and all kinds of gadgets and treats, it reminded me of when my cousin Holly and I used to play "imaginary house" when we were kids at the playground. (The bed would fold into the wall and then you'd press this button for it to rotate into the wall, with the kitchen coming out from the other side, etc.) It was a rather heavenly way to start the trip! And for Air Canada, the pod upgrade almost makes up for them leaving me in a hurricane in 2007...

The next few weeks were a relaxing cycle of low-key activity: coffee on the lanai, packing the cooler for the beach/pool, sitting on the beach reading a book, watching whales and people and having snacks and drinks. Boogeyboarding and snorkeling in between sitting kept us moving and made a few muscles and bones a little sore. We ate well at dinner most of the time, or had happy hour appetizers at the Grand Wailea, and saw an incredible live show by Willy K, by far the best guitarist I've ever heard, and one of the most interesting entertainers I've seen (he also featured mom and dad dancing for the anniversary and made dad sing to her!). Dad and I played 18 holes of golf at the Wailea Emerald course, a beautiful setting for my debut golf game since 2007! Of course, we also saw a lot of incredible golf at the Mercedes PGA event at Kapalua - its always a treat to see these guys play because they are THAT good. We spent time with some wonderful people in Maui - some we already knew and some we met on the beach and by the pool. Watching golf with the Hamiltons from Airdrie, eating dinner with grandma Gunn's prior neighbours the Hipwells, coffee with Leanne and Harvey, playing golf with Blake and Ross, hanging out poolside and beachside with Natalie and her family, chatting with Debbie Jo, and sitting next to Owen Wilson (yep that one) at the bar...people always make it more interesting!

We did manage to fit in a few stressful hours during our trip. Since I had burned the top of my feet (one spot I missed the sunscreen on) the day before and literally could not wear shoes because of that, we went on a "road trip"around the north part of Maui. It is a part of the island not travelled that much, and we found out why. The road is actually a path, and for several several miles, the path is one lane carved out of the cliff with another cliff dropping off the other side. This would not be such an issue if there weren't cars driving both directions. The book we had said in the areas where the road "narrowed" the car going uphill should back up to an area where they could get over far enough to let the downhill car by. Hah. That would assume everyone read the book, as well as assume that there were "areas" to get over far enough! When twenty cars are behind you, it also assumes a synchronized reversing of the twenty different drivers! It's insane! And yes, the road is supposed to border some of the most amazing ocean cliff views on the island, but when you are gripping the steering wheel and peering around tight corners hoping there is not a car coming toward you, you sort of miss those! It was an experience, and now we can warn others - don't do it! It makes the road to Hana look like a three-lane freeway!

While it was very hard to leave, our overnight flight through LA made us happy to arrive back in Calgary last Tuesday afternoon! Daisy's response when we picked her up at Pet Planet made us feel missed. I was happy to see Tasha at the airport and later to see my brother and his family.

The next day I drove up to Edmonton to see Dr. Aung for a "boost". Dr. Aung's visits are always positive, and the bonus is I see my "little sister" Amy and her husband Ryland, as I stay at their house after one boost, and then in the morning before heading back to Calgary. Other than a snowstorm as I returned to Calgary, the quick trip did provide a boost.

Since then I've had supper with my brother, Dana and the boys, who are now impressive "hi-ya" kung-fu fighters when watching "the Panda"! I also have been able to hang out with Tasha, Ryan and Talyn a bit as Ryan continues his fight against brain cancer. Ryan finished his radiotherapy over a week ago, and will have a scan tomorrow and see the doctors next Tuesday to discuss the next stage of treatment. He continues to do quite well given the treatment, anti-seizure medications and steroids he takes, but has been hit by some significant fatigue to say the least, and the entire family is certainly running a little low on energy these days. I am happy I am back in the same country to do whatever I can for them as they press on with such incredible determination.

I had bloodwork at a lab in Kihei while in Maui, and things continue to look good. My anti-rejection drugs have been gradually reducing and are almost at half the level I was on in early December. The Maui energy and Dr. Aung boost has definitely translated into improved strength and I physically feel as good as I have for at least 3 years. Yesterday I was in the office at PwC to get a few things arranged for my planned return to work March 2nd, and I feel confident I'll be able to move back into that world pretty easily.

So far for me 2009 has started off well. Maui always gives me unique energy and I know it was the perfect start to the year for my parents as well. If I could only figure out how to spend 6 months of the year there. Hmmm. Six months in New York, six months in Maui. Gotta dream, right? Happy New Year!