Christmas Eve we ate turkey, lots of other yummy things and opened presents with the boys, Brandon, his girlfriend Jacqui and her kids Katie and Teddy. It was a chance to just forget the noise and enjoy family and friends again.
Since then I've had a few tests to check my organs and if they will tolerate the chemo planned. I changed my Maui flight to return the early morning of Jan 12 - my "pre-chemo" bloodwork and doctor appointment is at 9:45 so the transition from paradise to cancerland will be a bit harsh ;) I will start the two chemo drugs and herceptin infusion Jan 13 around 9 AM.
The pre-chemo tests show my heart is definitely not as good as a normal 40 year-old female starting breast cancer chemo would be - not surprising given the crap we've thrown at it from total body radiation in 1997, and three cycles of hard core chemo, as well as three transplants chemo. It's just below the level that it would be a problem, so the cardioligist gave me a med to help protect it a bit as well as scheduled more heart MRIs throughout treatment to make sure the risk of heart failure doesn't outweigh the risk of the cancer returning. Pending the results of the other tests which I am guessing will show some wear and tear but not as much as the heart, we are a go for chemo. The question of IF I could do chemo was bigger than I realized, so now the idea that I start early and miss most of Maui is a bit less prominent - I'm just happy I'll get to proceed with chemo and get a week in paradise!
So getting my hair coloured and cut at the moment - I will only have it for another month likely so going a bit shorter for the transition. And after a quiet New Year's tonight with Tashs and Talyn I'll finish my packing tomorrow and escape reality for a week...a wonderful way to start the year and soak in as much aloha energy as I can.
Ha oli maka heke ho to all of you and mahalo for all your love and support.
Wednesday, 31 December 2014
Monday, 22 December 2014
The Grinch
So this will be short but likely not so upbeat as I don't have a lot of energy left from the day. The basic result of my oncology appointment is that the chemo part of this equation is a lot more important than I expected it to be - without it the risk of the cancer returning is about 50/50 so starting some solid chemo within 60 days of surgery is a must have. Dr. Stewart knows my history and me personally very well, yet considering the risk and my vacation plans, allowed me to delay starting chemo but only to January 12...so I get one week in Maui. Not what I wanted to hear or expected.
The fact that he was serious about it was more important to me as I had in my head that the chemo part of the equation was smaller, that it was really about a slim chance of recurrence, and that the drugs I would take would not be that toxic, and that I could do it while returning to work in February. Also not true. 6 three-week cycles if I can handle it, 4 minimum, of 2 pretty solid agents (one I know very well from induction chemo 1997, 2002 and even 2006 when I only got 10 days in), during which time most people can't work, and a full year of Herceptin (an antibody that helps prevent recurrence when you have Her2 positive breast cancer) injections every three weeks (not so concerned about those). My battled heart and other organs will be closely monitored as there is higher risk they will not enjoy another round with these agents, new and old, and my slightly open neck wound from the flesh eating disease skin graft may also cause some issues once my counts drop. Oh yeah, and with no chance of a port inserted into my chest due to all the trauma it has endured, my hand veins may be the only way to get this stuff in me.
So I think maybe its the whole equation that I underestimated, not just the chemo part. It seems like a calculus problem more when I thought maybe I was hoping for just a long division one. I probably should have waited to blog until tomorrow when I maybe have more ability to spin it positively. I feel like the Grinch now - ....apologies. Please enjoy your holiday festivities, food and family immensely - it is the only gift I ask for for Christmas.
The fact that he was serious about it was more important to me as I had in my head that the chemo part of the equation was smaller, that it was really about a slim chance of recurrence, and that the drugs I would take would not be that toxic, and that I could do it while returning to work in February. Also not true. 6 three-week cycles if I can handle it, 4 minimum, of 2 pretty solid agents (one I know very well from induction chemo 1997, 2002 and even 2006 when I only got 10 days in), during which time most people can't work, and a full year of Herceptin (an antibody that helps prevent recurrence when you have Her2 positive breast cancer) injections every three weeks (not so concerned about those). My battled heart and other organs will be closely monitored as there is higher risk they will not enjoy another round with these agents, new and old, and my slightly open neck wound from the flesh eating disease skin graft may also cause some issues once my counts drop. Oh yeah, and with no chance of a port inserted into my chest due to all the trauma it has endured, my hand veins may be the only way to get this stuff in me.
So I think maybe its the whole equation that I underestimated, not just the chemo part. It seems like a calculus problem more when I thought maybe I was hoping for just a long division one. I probably should have waited to blog until tomorrow when I maybe have more ability to spin it positively. I feel like the Grinch now - ....apologies. Please enjoy your holiday festivities, food and family immensely - it is the only gift I ask for for Christmas.
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