The month of June

I realize it has been a while since I blogged.  I can only say that life has been so full, that either I have been living so much, or that I have been so tired from trying to live so fully, that I have not honestly had enough energy to write about it.  Which has to be a good thing, right?

Last night I decided to watch Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close and found some energy to blog.  Since I last posted, I have seen and experienced many things, as all of us have, and I am grateful for all of them.  But like most photos, recalling the moments that pass does not ever give justice to the intensity of those moments.  Sharing them is difficult as you may understand, from your experiences with wonderful times in life, as when you try to explain fantastic but simple things, often the shine that comes with each second, is somehow slightly dulled by attempting to describe it.  Even the pictures taken by the most sophisticated camera do not every capture how you felt when you snapped them.

In any case, to start with, I am healthy.  My biggest concern when I week after week realize that I have not blogged is that there are so many people out there checking my blog who are wondering how I am doing.  People who prayed, thought, sent energy, whatever mechanism they believe in, for me, toward me when 15 years ago I first started this incredible journey with uncertainty, 6 years ago when I had my third dance with the end of this human experience, and all the times in between when I needed something more than a treatment to help me through.  In context of my current occupation, you are the shareholders, the people who invested to make it happen.  As any good public company would, I feel an enormous sense of responsibility to report to you at a minimum, how your investment is doing.  Which is pretty darn good.

The first five months of 2012 have brought me many good things and taken me many places– an amazing time with Mom and Dad in Maui, heaven on earth, for the majority of January...February was mostly a bit too much work, as well as March, but then April took me to Las Vegas for a weekend of laughter and fun with Mom and Colleen on our annual Gunn Girls Getaway, and the following weekend experienced more than a dozen wonderful bands at Coachella music festival in Southern California with Tasha.  May is my busiest month at work and I so am happy to see it pass, and later in June I’ll get to see my cousin Mary on Broadway (yep, really!) in NYC and connect with a pile of old friends.  Yes, I travel now and then.  Technically, I can’t afford the travel costs I allow myself.  But I do it anyway.  It’s what I do, because I love it. No excuses.  And while travel always brings such great experiences, the laughing, talking, eating, drinking and playing with family and friends, regardless of the destination, continues to fill me up every day.

The first five months of 2012 have also been my most tired.  I seemed to feel more and more tired, and although there are many potential sources of my fatigue (anemia caused by the Gleevec medication I take daily to counter the scleroderma, which was caused by rejection to my last bone marrow transplant, having 3 bone marrow transplants, too much chemo, getting older and doing too much), another source evolved – low phosphate – which I have had for over a year and half, but which had become critically low in recent months.  A visit to an endricrinologist (one specialist I did not previously have on my extensive list) determined that my kidney is “wasting” phosphate for some reason, which can cause a number of other issues if it continues to succeed.  Luckily for me, the specialist figured out a plan and last week blood results indicated his plan is working.  And the beat goes on :)J

So now, in June 2012, I am doing well.  Yesterday I dropped in on Jack and Davis’ 6^th birthday party, which is entirely amazing in itself, and celebrated with Transformer cake and flying juice cups.   Spectacular, particularly, when I think Junes before this have included diagnosis (1997), admission for 2^nd transplant (2003), admission for 3^rd transplant (2008), and admission for pericarditis (2010). 

This week, on the anniversary of so many cancer-related events, I head to Edmonton, for my quarterly meetings of the Alberta Health Services Advisory Council – Cancer that I was appointed to last Fall, as well as the Core Committee of the Cancer Care Strategic Clinical Network, which I was nominated to in May.  It seems quite appropriate.

I am excited to play more golf this summer, have wine on a patio and laugh with friends.  I still plan to  see the Hunger Games after I read all 3 books and loved them, and will watch for Mary at the Tony’s  tonight(again, really?!).  I’m positive I’ll continue to be tired, but for good reason.  And that is my report to the investors.  Who made it all happen.  Hope you’re satisfied with your return ;)

Photos - Jack sporting the viking hat on his 6th birthday at Montana's, some of my birthday flowers and cards, Davis enjoying ice cream and being 6 and a viking simultaneously, Coachella by dusk, backstage at Coachella - Florence & the Machines equipment, , the boys "transformer" party with their friends, Oliver (my 2nd transplant donor)'s son Noah's birthday drawing for me.

Christmas wishes for a full and good life

It's 9 degrees outside and that is exactly what I wished for! I hope all of you are having a wonderful Christmas morning/day with your family. We had an early Christmas yesterday morning with Jack and Davis and despite the incredible excitement they both had over opening all their gifts, Davis said "Christmas isn't about the treats, it's about GIVING and family time and SHARING"! I think then he and Jack headed into the garage to drive their new remote cars into each other, but he obviously got the message that much of the world forgets this time of year. 5-year old logic rules all, once again.




To say the past few months have flown by is an understatement and I won't even attempt to recall or capture everything that has occured in the weeks behind me. Work for many reasons these past months was way busier than expected and I have pushed the limits a bit too far to deal with some client deadlines - one of my 2012 resolutions is to ensure I manage a better balance. Despite that I have been doing all kinds of wonderful things outside of work.

October's highlights included a quick trip to NYC to attend my third Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Centre's Transplant Survivor Celebration, where I got to catch up with my amazing doctors and give them a first hand look at their fantastic research results. While my portal to the universe Elaine's restaurant is closed now after Elaine's passing a year ago, mom and I managed to catch up with many of our old friends from there thanks to Facebook keeping us connected. When we returned, later that week I was honoured to attend the launch party of Calgary's Avenue magazine "Top 40 under 40" as I was named to the 2011 class. You can check out the article and all the 39 other honourees online.



http://www.avenuecalgary.com/top-40-under-40/tricia-antonini



My friend Michelle nominated me and I was surprised out of 350 nominees that I was included in the group - but what it does speak of is hope. 5 years before the launch party, in October 2006, I had just learned to swallow, breath, walk and go to the bathroom on my own following weeks in ICU after surviving flesh eating disease, and although I was stable, the threat of the leukemia was imminent after having treatment interrupted so quickly after it had started. No one could have convinced me that I would survive let alone get back to work, voluntering and have my story in a magazine 5 years later. So the article reminds you once again that anything is possible.




November included attending a number of charity events - anchored by Tasha's Rethink Breast Cancer Boobyball, which was one of the best and most successful yet in raising funds for supporting young breast cancer patients while they fight the disease. I also managed to fit in a quick trip to see Dr. Aung after over a year and a half gap, which always gives me a boost of energy and joy.




December has been full of fun (in between lots of work!) not just because of our holiday party at work. My cousin Brant who lives in LA and works in the reality TV arena, discovered my addiction (or devotion) to the reality Series Survivor and managed to get 4 tickets for me and my 3 fellow "Survivor pool powerchicks" (Julie, Laura, Shannon - friends from work) to attend the live finale show at CBS studios in LA. Seeing Brant, his wife Juliana and their kids, my cousin Shawn, my aunt and uncle Marcia and Dennis on the Friday night was such an awesome bonus. It was a fantastic Hollywood weekend, complete with premium restaurant experiences, celebrity spotting, Chateau Marmont accomodation, limo pick up and laughing with friends and family. And showing the show's creator Mark Burnett our famous "Survivor plaque" with the name of each season's pool winner engraved on it, and explaining the 23 blank spots showed how long we thought the show would continue ("Wouldn't that be nice" was his response) was also fun. I love LA!




Last night mom, dad and I enjoyed delicious appetizers at Tasha's with her brother Chad and mom and dad Birthe and Jerry, laughing ourselves silly while playing the "present game". This morning we talked to Jack and Davis who were playing air hockey with their Dad after having a visit from Santa.



And on Saturday, I will escape to paradise with mom and dad to meet Colleen, Allan, Grady and Joelle for New Year's Eve in Maui, followed by a couple weeks of sun and relaxation. Life is good. Life is full. Wishing you all a full and good life. Cheers.


Tricia