Merry Christmas

It is hard to imagine it's Christmas tomorrow. December has been so full already for many reasons - of course losing Grandma (please see my post below) was very hard but a chance to reflect with family. Then I was also given a bit of a ride on my familiar roller coaster with lower than normal bloodcounts showing up a few weeks back, and repeated tests last week dropped further. Yesterday the counts were about the same, so at least they weren't lower. After a discussion with Dr. B, it seems the likely cause may be the medication I am taking to try to reduce my scleroderma, which can cause low hemoglobin. To be sure, the docs will have me do weekly bloodwork for a while and then we'll reevaluate the cost-benefit of taking the medication.

So uncertainty continues to play it's part in life! It's another reminder to take in the day as much as you can and focus on the good stuff. Like decorating trees...I helped decorated 4 this year: Tasha and Talyn's, Colleen, Allan, Grady and Joelle's, the Calgary Emergency Women's Shelter's, and Mom and Dad's. All of them very different and all contributing to the Christmas spirit.

I also was able to get to a few Christmas lunches, dinners and parties - everything from a simple lunch with a friend to my PwC Holiday Party to a "Drink the Christmas Tree Dry" party that included a tree decorated with tiny bottles that you picked off and drank (I did not help decorate or undecorate that one!) - and again all different and all contributing to the Christmas spirit.

We kind of already celebrated Christmas last weekend...Saturday Dad made Gnocchi for 3 of his siblings and their spouses - Marty and Karen, Mary Ellen and Bob, and (from Scotland) Louise and Dave. Sunday morning we had Christmas Morning Wifesafer, Citrus Pull-Aparts and cinnamon "donuts" as the boys call them, and we opened our gifts before they left Monday for Saskatchewan to spend Christmas with Dana's family. The boys' playing with their new Ironman robots was pure entertainment. Wednesday night I had dinner with Tasha, Talyn and Tasha's brother Chad and we exchanged gifts as well, before they left for Regina yesterday.

So Christmas itself will be pretty quiet. Which is another rare gift that we don't often see any more! It's really a season anyway, although it often ends up as one day to cram every possible person you love into, along with every special meal you ever dreamed of...so I will be happy to nap, play cards, watch movies and just enjoy the calm. And oh yeah, pack for my other favourite place...Maui. We leave New Year's Eve and Colleen, Allan, Grady and Joelle will also be there....so Mele Keliki Maka!

I wish you all a Merry Christmas season as well, and hope it continues into 2011. I am so thankful to be healthy and happy and loved - I wish for you the same. Cheers!

Tricia

An incredible woman

A few days after my last post, on December 6, my aunt Colleen phoned my mom to tell her Grandma had passed away. She was in her room and her new care home - and Colleen had visited less than hour before. Mom had just returned from visiting her the day before, and it was only weeks since I was in Vancouver to see her, along with Bob and Mom. I know she finally decided she was ready.

And while I feel so good about the peace she now has after such a long time with so little ability to live to the level she had all her life, it is hard to imagine the world without Amanda Gunn.

I had always heard stories about her earlier life, as a sister to several siblings in a large French family, growing up in Lebret, Saskatchewan. She loved and was loved by all her family and everyone knew her strength, beauty and compassion right from her childhood through to her adult life. Mom, Bob and Colleen's love and admiration for Grandma, along with the pictures of her and Grandpa were all evidence that she was an amazing mother and wife.

For me, she was a friend and a protector. She had come many times to stay with us when I was growing up and I was always happy when she did. Grandma always talked to me like I was grown up, like I was her friend, but loved me and protected me like I was her grandchild. When I was doing treatment for leukemia, grandma came to Calgary and stayed with me when I was out of the hospital. She had an ability to help without hovering! We could talk about anything and did. Her positive attitude and strength was always an inspiration to me.

My grandma was the youngest elderly person I knew - she walked a few miles a day right until her stroke, she drove a Mustang into her 70s, and we celebrated her 75th birthday in Las Vegas, with grandma awake into the late hours. After her 80th birthday party, weeks before her stroke, she was on an Alaskan cruise. I always said her social life was better than mine (and that was when I was in my 20's!). She travelled many places on her own over many years - from MacDonald's for coffee in the morning to Europe to Hawaii to the Maritimes - everywhere she went she met and impacted people who kept in touch with her for years.

She was a classy woman. A fighter. Strong. Compassionate. Loving. Funny. Beautiful.

She helped shape who I am. I loved her so much and will miss her.

Stop. Look around

I really can't believe it's December 1st. I realized I better post before I have to do a Christmas one!

Time continues to evaporate and October and November are a blur...work in October included a number of activities including the United Way drive in our office, which concludes with a "slave auction" - my auctioneer extraordinaire brother once again amazed my coworkers and made them laugh as he auctioned and got the bidding up on various items, including my paintings for a child's room, with the grand total exceeding $56,000 at the end of 1.5 hours. It's always fun to have him there, and introduce him as a mortgage broker, auctioneer and a guy who donated bone marrow not once but twice!

Speaking of my bone marrow donors, we finally managed to have a Skype visit with my family and Oliver's family in Germany. After a few technical glitches on my side, we were able to see Oliver, Judith, Noah, Jona, Claudia and her 2 sons! On our end, the boys had fun with the webcam (and I could see Noah giggling) and everyone on our end got to meet everyone on their end. Dad got meet them all finally and say a few words of thanks to Oli, and my brother and Oli got to share a beer as my 2 heroes. Of course mom and I were happy to be reunited with them all, such wonderful friends. The power of technology....I look forward to more virtual visits.

Tasha's Rethink Romp came and went with a big successful bang, raising funds for Rethink Breast Cancer, and getting a dozen or so of my coworkers out for the fantastic night. The theme was Superheroes, and while not everyone dressed in theme, my Gotham Girl costume worked well, although I think I will retire it! I wore it the week before the romp to Shannon's awesome Halloween party, so it got double value.

Certainly a highlight in October was becoming the godmother of Mireya Marjorie Lukiwski on October 31 in Regina - I had an excellent weekend with her and she is definitely one of my favourite girls in the world. I am so looking forward to watching her grow up - we even got another visit in November when Amy, Ellen and Mireya were in Calgary while Amy attended a conference. Mireya is very special and I am a proud Godmom.

My planned trip to Vancouver mid-November started a bit early as news came that Grandma Gunn was not well and in hospital. I flew out a couple days earlier than planned, and after a bit of a roller coaster week, she rallied again and the following week was discharged. It was great to spend time with her, even though she can't say anything and at times was in some distress. I love her very much and often worry about the lack of quality of life she has after being such a wonderful person. But it is clear she still wants to be here, and I know personally that at a point, a person can make the final choice when they want to go. So I guess I'll take her cue and just enjoy the time she is here.

While in Vancouver I also got to visit a bit with Colleen, Allan, Grady and Joelle and saw my good friend Shelley who recently moved to Vancouver. It was great to spend time with Shelley as we don't often end up in the same city lately...but old friends don't change, so we enjoyed a few good dinners, hanging in her fantastic place, and catching up like no time had passed. And while we shared a lot of time at the hospital, it is always fun to hang out with Colleen and her family...I am really looking forward to hanging out in Maui come December 31 as they are going to be there when we are. I can almost smell the ocean now....(and last week when it was -40 I was dreaming of the beach).

My little boys have all been keeping me entertained lately. Jack and Davis got over to my house a couple of time in November, and showed me how to really play the Wii. They loved snuggling on my bed, munching popcorn and watching Spiderman. Talyn and I hung out a bit in October (he likes my Wii too) and I just gave him some signature tickles this weekend. Alex, Doug and Michelle's little guy, saved up room for "breakfast with Tricia" when we met a couple weeks ago at Cora's for waffles. They are all growing so fast.

A couple weeks ago would have been Ryan's birthday and we went for dinner at a restaurant that we went to last year with him. Tonight I will join Tasha, Talyn and some of Ryan's friends and family at a Candlelight service that the funeral home holds. It's good to share some fond memories of him as it's still hard to imagine he's gone.

Healthwise things continue to be superb and my skin issues even seem to be improving. I avoided the neck surgery with diligent work and think I will be able to leave the bandages behind heading into 2011. The experimental drug I went on a couple months ago to help the scleroderma seems to be improving things a bit, so that's positive too. Other than that, the only thing that stops me from taking over the world is my fatigue. 4 days of work and a full life otherwise is sometimes a bit of a challenge, but given my track record I know it's incredible I can do all of that! I celebrated 13 year since transplant #1 this past weekend....

As Ferris Buller said once, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once and a while, you could miss it."

Stop. Look around. Cheers...Tricia