Energy

Time seems to have evaporated since my last post, and I realized I better post an update - I am packing for a quick trip to Vegas with Mom and Colleen this weekend and if I don't post now, it will be a book by the time I do!

I've celebrated a few holidays these past few weeks - a wonderful dinner with some of my Irish relatives, Marlene and Art, and Easter with Dana, Brandon, Jack, Davis, Mom and Dad (or Papa as the boys now call him). We had a lot of fun and I managed to keep Grandma Antonini's rice krispie cake tradition going with a bunny cake (and some not so lovely eggs) which the boys truly loved. It is still amazing to me how fast they are growing up and how funny they are.



On the health front, I continue to feel good and am gaining strength. The menu and activity plans mom and I have been following are really giving me more core strength that will be key for the next few months. The application for the clinical trial was couriered to Ottawa on March 12, so I am finally in the last stages of waiting. With Ottawa having 30 days to review the application, April 11th looked like the date to expect an answer. As the roller coaster continues however, that changed this week when I found out there was a small "wrinkle" with the application that had been identified early on- the good news is that the teams in New York and Calgary figured out how to iron out the wrinkle and I signed some paperwork yesterday to assist with that. The bad news is that the time it took to iron it out may push the April 11th date forward slightly. Fortunately, since my last post the clinic already changed my "pencilled in" date of May 1st to May 23rd, because the pre-transplant timeline looked a little tight even if there were no wrinkles. Soooo.....I continue to hope for no more wrinkles, and wait with fingers (and toes) crossed.

As so many of you now follow Tasha's blog as well, you probably already know that she experienced a scary "wrinkle" of her own last week, when she had a strange reaction at a restaurant that made her heart rate elevate and her blood pressure drop and took her to emergency at the hospital. It seems she likely has developed a severe food allergy, triggered possibly by being immune-suppressed while on this recent chemotherapy. While it was an awful experience, Tasha looks at positively as usual - "if I only have to deal with a food allergy, then great!". She continues to be a wonderful mentor and support for me.

Speaking of positive energy, I've received several messages that I should be doing some Qi Gong, a phrase I didn't know about until 10 days ago (I actually had to go on wikipedia.com!) Since then, 3 separate dinners/lunches with 3 unrelated people have made me aware of it, as well as the same doctor who teaches it. When the third person mentioned it, I kind of laughed and thought "Okay, I get it" and signed up for the end of April. It will be (hopefully) be perfect timing to learn new techniques that can help me before heading into the hospital again.

I continue to learn so much from this ride of life we are on. Lately I seem to be absorbing everything even more fully than ever - whether it's at a concert, a hockey game, a dinner, a lunch, watching the starry look on Talyn's face when I do "Tricia tickles", enjoying a personal dance with Davis, counting down Jack's "fireplace jump" trick, or just driving the Deerfoot, I have been smiling a lot lately at virtually nothing. I am surrounded so much by so many positive energy sources, both nearby and in the distance, and I am so incredibly thankful for that.

And while real life continues to be tremendous, treatment or no treatment, I am looking forward to escaping to the surreal world of Las Vegas! And while I'd love to say I'll report when I return, mom reminded me tonight "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas"! Have a great weekend!

Sunny Scottsdale

As many of you know, I have managed to get to some warm places over the past year and a half, and always seem to come home stronger each time. The Sun is a powerful healer. My recent trip to Scottsdale with Mom was no exception.

On arrival, we found out that our hotel had oversold the first night and we were transferred to another hotel, which was very disappointing. The next day however, the hotel upgraded us to a large suite overlooking the pool areas and tried to make up for the inconvenience with free drinks, champagne and breakfast! After that we stayed with the Morin's, friends of our family from Regina who now have a beautiful place in Scottsdale. Between the upgraded hotel night and Linda'(below, with Mom and I) and her incredibly gracious hosting, we really felt quite pampered. We were even lucky enough to see Dan and Jan Marce, old Regina friends as well, as they were visiting Morin's at the same time as us. We caught up on lots of years and laughed about a lot of old memories.

Saturday night was a highlight, as we had court side tickets to the Phoenix Suns. Our seats were just below the height of Shaq O'Neil's head (and slightly above Steve Nash's)so it was pretty exciting! Our seats came with free food and drinks as well, so the whole night went by far too quickly.

During the day we spent most of our time shopping...I was able to find some pretty great deals including new hair! I am all ready for the next few months when my short hair-do will become none again...

Returning to Calgary early last week, I visited the hospital for another "day one" - this should be my last round of this particular mix of drugs, given the upcoming plans for treatment change. Even if the transplant does not get approved, we'll be moving to something more aggressive, so a change is coming. Dr. Brown indicated the application would finally be mailed this week to Ottawa for Health Canada's review, at which point they have 30 days to render a decision. I also met with one of the transplant nurses who arrange the "workup" for transplant as well as the collection of stem cells from Brandon, so I have a few more details now about that.

I have a range of emotions toward the upcoming months:

- excitement to actually have at least a tentative plan

- stress over the application getting to Ottawa in time for them to review it and still make the May 1st timeline

- worry over whether they will approve it and what my limited options are if they don't

- slight panic for a list of things I need and want to get done prior to admission as I won't know how long I'll be in hospital

- fear over how I will fair with the aggressive new drugs included in the transplant trial and the possibility that my lungs and liver won't hold up.

Luckily, I keep really busy and don't get too swallowed up in all of these varying emotions! I have been continuing to meet up with various friends and family lately, and continue to value these times more and more every day. I have also been more focused on maximising my strength with more exercise and careful eating. In addition, recent changes with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society have arisen and I have decided it is the appropriate time to step away from the extensive volunteer roles I had there, to enable me to fully focus on my health in the coming months.

I am fortunate that warm weather (in Scottsdale and Calgary, anyway!) has given me some energy to take on this next phase...I wish you warmth as well! Cheers